


Once Upon A Captain Swan

by hopeduckling13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Captain Swan - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Happy Beginning, One-Shots, Sad, collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2018-11-09 11:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 42,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11103657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeduckling13/pseuds/hopeduckling13
Summary: A collection of my Captain Swan one-shots. (Includes AU's, missing scenes,...)





	1. Our Happy Ending

**Author's Note:**

> I take requests, so if you want me to write something, you just have to comment it. I'll write it when I have time.

[Set in 5x20 Firebird]

**Emma's POV**

"You did your best for Hook." I heard my father say. I was crying. My heart breaking more and more every second. I didn't manage to find a way to save Killian. He has to stay down here. I lost him already. I'll never see him again. I failed.

"I don't know. Did I?" I cried even more. My dad didn't say anything. He just turned around and vanished through the portal. He was holding my hand just seconds ago, but now he was probably in Storybrooke since no one hold my hand anymore.

I turned around too to leave through the portal. But when I actually planned to go through the portal I looked behind me one last time and broke down crying.

I had no power anymore. I couldn't make it through the portal, I think. So I just stayed on the ground until it closed. And even after that I didn't stand up. It took some time.

I thought about my life. Its ironic. I'm the Savior, but I can't even manage to save myself. I couldn't keep my happy ending alive. I lost Killian.

Then I jumped up. That was when I realized I was still in the underworld with no way back to Storybrooke. I need to find my pirate before he moves on like I told him too. We can be together again.

I ran through the town. First I looked at Granny's. Maybe he was hungry, but there was no trace of him. I continued running to my house this time, but he also wasn't there.

Then I figured that maybe he never even left the library. So I went there.

When I arrived he was just coming out of the elevator. His mouth fell open when he saw me. He still had tears in his eyes and I'm pretty sure I'm still crying too.

"Swan?" his voice broke while saying this. I smiled and ran to him, hugging him tight. "You're supposed to be in Storybrooke. What happened?" he sounded worried now and that broke my heart. I hate seeing him upset.

"I couldn't make it. The portal was already closed when I got there." I lied. He doesn't have to know that I was just too stubborn to take the portal. He would be mad because he wants me to live in Storybrooke. With him.

"Thats all my fault. I should've hurried a biz more. I'm so sorry, Swan." normally it's me who's feeling guilty. Funny how much alike we are.

"Don't be. Its okay. Its not your fault." I said smiling at him. He raised his eyebrow.

"You're not mad?" I shook my head. "You didn't miss the portal home. Did you? You just didn't take it." Why does he have to be so perceptive? I can't lie to him now. Can I?

"No. I didn't. I couldn't." Tears streamed down my face again. "Remember when I said I can't lose you? Well...it's true. I don't want to live without you. Ever. It hurts too much. The few weeks after I killed you were already torture."

He wiped my tears away with his thumb.

"But what about your family, Swan? When you're stuck down here with me, you won't be able to see them. Ever."

"I don't care. All I need is you. I love you and I don't ever want to live without you again. There would be no joy in my life. We just found out that we're true love...I can't just lose you seconds after that. Also Storybrooke isn't my home...it never was."

He seemed surprised. "Where's your home then, luv?"

"Don't you know, Killian. Its wherever you are. Its you." He kissed me then. A single tear fell down my face because I realized when we're both dead, no can separate us by death. We won't have to be without each other ever again. I'll have my happy ending with my devishly handsome pirate.

"I know when you're quoting something, Swan. And this time I even know what it is." he smirked at me. I laughed remembering that day. It was like reliving it. He gave me his brothers ring that day and for a moment I thought he was going to propose then. But he didn't and when I realized that I was kinda sad and disappointed.

"Do you? Thats new." now it was my time to smirk. It just made him kiss me again. This time it was much more passionate than the last kiss.

"Okay okay. Enough distractions." I said and he looked really sad and teasing. I gave him a short peck on the lips and continued speaking. "We must find a way to kill me now, so that we can leave this place and move on to a better one."

"Are you sure about that, luv? Maybe we should just find a portal, so you can go to Storybrooke."

"That would be complicated. Also you can't leave the underworld. Its better if we just move on. At least there we can be together. Thats all that matters. Isn't it?" he smiled at me.

"Aye, luv." He looked down. "So how do we kill you?"

"Maybe crushing my heart or something. You could do it. I trust you."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. I still am." I ripped my heart out of my chest and gave it to Killian.

"Okay, luv. I am wish I could say this will be pain free, but I can't. It'll hurt as he'll. I'm already sorry." I nodded and he kissed me one last time before actually crushing my heart. When I started to fall down to the floor and scream in pain, I could see him hesitate, but I gave him an encouraging look and he finished the job.

...

I felt someone stroking my hair. "Luv, please wake up. Its been too long. You worry me. A lot. Please. Please."

It was Killian. Now I also remembered what happened. He killed me and I was probably unconscious for a while.

I opened my eyes and they locked instantly with the shining blue eyes of my pirate. They lit up in a matter of seconds.

"Bloody hell. You scared me, luv. You were out for hours. I was so afraid."

I pulled him down to me and kissed him. He deepened the kiss instantly and I rolled on top of him. We continued kissing for several minutes or maybe hours. I have no idea. I totally lost track of time.

When we pulled away I was out of breath. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I love you."

"I love you too."

This is the beginning of our happy ending, I think. Or it actually started when we met. I think happy endings are more like beginnings anyway since when it would be the end, it wouldn't be quite so happy.


	2. True Love Can Break Any Curse

[Set in 3x11 Going Home]

**Emma's POV**

I was standing at the townline of Storybrooke with my whole family and friends. I was saying goodbye to them. In a few minutes I won't ever see them again.I won't even remember them or that I knew them or that they even existed. They will all go back to the Enchanted Forest because of Pan's dark curse. Me and Henry will stay behind. Well Henry will andI can choose between everyone and Henry. Not that there is much of achoice. I could never leave Henry all alone. He's still a kid and I love him. I already gave him up once and  there wasn't a  moment in my life that I didn't regret abandoning Henry. But I still stand with my excuse then. I had to give him his best chance. I couldn't know that he would end up with Regina, who only became a good mother to him recently.

Also I was still in prison for 2 months after Henry was born. And I was living in a car, had no money, so I lived from stealing. That isn't the right life for a newborn baby. I couldn't have done that to him.

Also there is the fact, that he is Neal's kid and I was angry at Neal. I still am. So I couldn't live with the fact, raising his baby after he left me and set me up for his crime, which caused me to be in jail for 11 months.

I let Henry go then, but I won't again. I won't abandon him, when I have a choice to make up for what I did to him as a baby.

It's just hurting that we will be alone again. I will again think my parents left me at the side of a freeway.  I won't have my overprotective father, who would do anything for me. I won't have my mum, who is like a friend to me since I arrived in Storybrooke. When I'm totally honest there's something about everyone I'll miss.

Then I make my way to my yellow bug ready to get in and cross the town line, but someone is grabbing me by the wrist lightly. I turned around, so I can face that person. It was Hook and he was smiling at me.

"That's quite the vessel you captain there, Swan." He teases me. I almost laugh, but it's just a small scoff since I'm feeling so miserable right now. We smile at each other until his face falls a little and he looks just as sad as  I feel.

"There's not a day that will go by, that I won't think of you." He says smiling lightly,but I know this smile is faked. His eyes literally scream it. He also had quite the pained expression on his face before and after that little smile.

"Good." I said while tears started to stream down my cheeks. It broke my heart to see how sad he was. He really did care for me. I became aware of that in Neverland when he told me, that he will win my heart. Now I won't even see him ever again.

There was a time when that would've  made me really happy, but now it just broke me again. My heart shattered at the thought of never seeing him again. The tears that streamed down my face were falling faster and faster and he wiped them away with his thumb, but I pushed his hand away and hugged him instead.

He was obviously surprised, but after a few seconds he hugged me back. His embrace somehow felt so similar even though we never really hugged before. You can't count the time I hugged him at the top of the beanstalk to save his life.

I thought back to that journey. Our first journey together. My first beanstalk. He said I'd never  forget it and he was right. It was on my mind pretty often. I never admitted it, but I was happy I was on there with him instead of my mum, Mulan or Aurora. That day I actually believed we could be friends maybe, but then I got scared, he'd hurt me and I couldn't handle that. So I left him there. I couldn't take the chance that I would be wrong and he'd end up hurting me.

We stepped out of our embrace, which seemed to have lasted 100 million years, but was actually 30 seconds long. He still had his hands in my hair and tried to smile at me.

"I'll miss you." He said and that was what brought more tears to my eyes again. I hated that I won't even remember him. I want to miss him so badly, but I can't because as soon as I cross the townline I will forget he ever existed I won't even be able to miss him.

"I wish I could say the same."I said and his expression got even sadder. He probably thinks  I'm happy I won't have to see him ever again. "But when I leave Storybrooke, I will forget it ever existed and also everyone in it. I wish I could be able to just miss you, but I won't know you anymore. I won't ever have known you."

Then it hit me. I remembered these words Neal said to me a long, long time ago. _You don't have a home until you just miss it._ I haven't even left Killian yet.I'm still facing him, but I already miss him, which I won't be able to do in a few minutes. He is my home. I was just to stubborn and guarded to realize it. I never tried if us being together would've worked, but now I won't ever find  out. We ran out of time.

That upset me even more, if that's possible at this point. I was sobbing and staring at him. It was like the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color. And then I did something I never thought I would do again. I pulled him down to me by the lapels of his coat and kissed him. It wasn't like our kiss in Neverland. It was slower, but not less passionate.

Then I felt something like a very short, but intense storm. We still continued kissing for a few seconds, but then pulled away at exactly the same time to see what that storm was.

I saw my family and friends with confused expressions on their faces. My dad was looking like he wanted  to kill someone, who was probably standing beside me. Killian.He must have noticed that too since he seemed worried. So I squeezed his hand tightly.

"What happened? What was this...storm or however you wanna call it?" I say to Regina since Iassume it's magic, so she is the one who knows what's going on most likely.

"Pan's curse. It's gone."she said and I quickly watched the sky. She was right. The purple dust of magic wasn't where it was just seconds ago. I was thrilled and I glanced to Henry, who was smiling brightly while still hugging Mary Margaret.

"How the hell did that happen?" I said while being happy about not having to leave with only Henry anymore.

"I think you broke it. With True Love's Kiss."


	3. Move In With Me

[Between 6x03 and 6x04]

 

**Emma's POV**

 

I was still thrilled because Killian agreed to move in with me. I mean i knew he would say yes. It was his idea after all. But that doesn't make it less magical and amazing.  
  
  


Iwas looking forward to it even though I know our time is limited because of my inevitable death. But Archie is right. My dark future shouldn't keep me from living my life now and I should do what makes me happy. Being with Killian makes me more than happy and I want to spend as much time with him as possible.   
  
  


The only thing that makes me want to back out is also Killian though. I could be selfless and let him go, so that the pain of losing me wouldn't be so big. He already lost many people. They always let him down and I will too. I don't have a choice. I can't change my fate. I cant change being the Savior.   
  
  


It's all so unfair. I never asked for any of this. I never wanted to bethe Savior. But fate is cruel and there is no such thing as happy endings. If there would be I wouldn't have to die so soon. I would be with Killian. We'd grow old together. We would live together for a long time. We'd get married and have kids together. I want all this,but I can never have it because Saviors don't get happy endings.   
  
  


All i have are a few weeks, maybe months and I intend to make the best of them.   
  
  


I reached my parents apartment. I took a deep breath and went in. My parents were in the kitchen with my little brother, drinking hot cocoa with cinnamon.   
  
  


"Emma."My mum said while smiling brightly and coming over to me to hug me tightl. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"  
  
  


"Yeah,everything's fine." I smiled back at her. "Can't I visit you guys without there being a new crisis?"  
  
  


I went over to my dad and hugged him too. After that I kissed my little brother, who was in my dad's arms, on the forehead. David gave him to me. I lifted him up in the air and back into my arms to hug him. He buried his head into my neck and touched my cheek lightly. I gave him another kiss.  
  
  


Then I looked over to my parents again. They were smiling brightly and my mum made me a hot cocoa with cinnamon.  
  
  


The door opened again and Henry entered the apartment.   
  
  


"HI mum. Grandma. Grandpa." He stood next to me and made grimaces towards Neal, who was just looking blankly at him. Henry gave it up and seemed sad because he couldn't make the baby laugh. I ruffled his hair and smiled at him.  
  
  


Mum brought another cup of hot cocoa with cinnamon and Henry gladly took it.   
  
  


We all stood around the kitchen table with our drinks in a comfortable silence. Now would be a good time to tell them about Killian and me,I decided.   
  
  


I got really nervous in a matter of seconds. What if David is overprotective again and tries to kill my pirate? What if Henry isn't happy about it and decides to live with Regina permanently? No! Stop it, Emma! You can do whatever you want and no one should say anything about my decisions because they are mine and not theirs. You can do this!  
  
  


"There's something I've been meaning to tell you," They all turned to me,looking puzzled. "Henry, do you remember when you looked for houses in Camelot with Hook?"  
  
  


"Yeah.Of course. Operation Light-Swan. I remember. You actually live in both our favorite pick." We smiled brightly at each other.  
  
  


"Well it was supposed to be Hook and my house, but then we were both the Dark Ones and I thought it was smart to isolate myself, so that Hook wouldn't figure out what I did." I swallowed. It was hard to talk or even think about that time. It's connected to pain because while I was the Dark Swan, Hook was taken from me multiple times by darkness and by death. I had to go to the underworld to get him back, so that we could have a future together, but now that won't happen because I'm dying.  
  
  


"We never really got a chance to move in together, but that will change now." I took a deep breath. "He will move in with me in  a few days."  
  
  


I looked at everyone, one by one, taking in their reactions.  
  
  


David was trying his best to act casual, but I am a human lie detector. He can't hide his feelings from me. He wasn't really happy about this,but I didn't expect him to be thrilled anyway. He is very overprotective and even though it can be annoying at times, I love him for it. It shows me that he cares about me and that's really important to me since I never had that in my childhood. No ever cared about me or loved me. They all just wanted the money from the fostersystem and for me to let them alone or get rid of me.  
  
  


Then I glanced at Henry. He was smiling brightly and giving me a nod of approval.   
  
  


"Great. Then we can finally have that movie night, I mentioned to him." I was confused. Which movie night? "I was talking about my favorite sequels and he didn't knew any off them, so I decided we should make a movie night. Just the three of us." I smiled, happy that Henry was okay with Killian and me living together. He's probably the only person that could've changed my mind about this. But he's fine with it, so nothing will have to change.   
  
  


I am happy about the development of Henry and Killian's relationship anyway. It makes me happier than anything in the world. My two true loves bonding. I noticed this when I saw them sword fight today.  
  
  


After that I looked over to my mum. She was also smiling brightly and grabbed my arm, dragging me to the couch in the living room and asking all kind of questions. I shook my head. She can be far too inquisitive at times and how am I even supposed to answer a hundred questions at once?  
  
  


But I will take that time even though I know I don't have much, so I need to make the best off it.  
  
  


 

My life may be short, but the last few years were worth living. I have my family and more people that care about me and that was all I ever wanted.

 


	4. Night Watch

**Emma's POV**

 

We have been running through the forest of Neverland for hours by now.

Actually we did the same the day before and the day before that and the day before that. I lost count on how long we've been on this damn island, searching for Henry, who has been kidnapped by Greg and Tamara. They worked for Pan and that got them killed. I won't say they didn't deserve it because they did for taking Henry away from me.

"I think we should make camp and call it night. It won't help us to find Henry while we are exhausted. That way we couldn't properly fight Pan and the Lost Boys, which would

lead to us not being able to save Henry. We only would get ourselves killed." Mary Margaret said.

I turned around, facing her and shook my head desperately. "We can't just stop. We have to continue. Every second we make camp is a second more Henry has to suffer. We have

to find him, find him fast. I need my son back."

"I actually agree with Ms Swan for once. Making camp is dumb. They could kill Henry while you have your beauty sleep. We can't risk that. You can sleep as long as you like when we're back in Storybrooke." Regina said annoyed. I am happy she is siding with me because no one else would in this situation, I think.

"No, she's right." Hook said, pointing to Mary Margaret. Great. If he's siding with her and David is most likely too, we are outnumbered. "Pan is a bloody demon. If we want to be  
able to defeat him and rescue your boy, Swan, we will have to be well rested."

He looks me deeply in the eyes as if he's begging me to listen to him. Weirdly it works. I have no idea how he did though. Since when do I hear what other people say? Especially  
what Hook says?

"Okay. But we continue our journey as soon as the first person wakes up." I pointed out while Mary Margaret gave me a soft smile, obviously being happy about my decision.

We all took a blanket from Mary Margaret's backpack and laid down except Hook. I looked at him confused with a questioning look on my face. He instantly knew what I  
wanted. That he can read me so easily even though I build my walls so high that no one could climb them, surprises me every time. I wish I had that ability.  
  


"Neverland isn't the safest place. I'm gonna stay up and make sure, that Pan doesn't attack us in our sleep." he said with soft smile towards me.

"But don't you need to rest too?"

"I'll be fine, love."

...

Half an hour later everyone but Hook and me was fast asleep. I kept twisting and turning until I gave up and sat down next to him.

"You can get some rest, I'll make sure we don't get attacked."

"No, Swan. You should rest. You need it more than I do."

"Why?"

"As I said Pan is dangerous and if you're not well rested, it's more likely for you to get yourself killed." He stared in my eyes with a face full of worry.

"And you don't need to be rested to be able to fight against Pan?"

"Sure I do, but if I die, it's not the same as if you would die. Nobody needs me. I wouldn't be missed, so it doesn't matter if I survive or not."

"That's not true. I need you." I took his hand and looked at him. "Without you I would've never got here. I would have no chance to ever see Henry again and he would have to  
suffer here for all eternity or they would just kill him." 

"You would've found a way, Swan. You always do. And also without me you wouldn't have lost Henry in the first place. If I would've given you the magic bean in the first place, everything would've turned out differently. Greg and Tamara probably wouldn't have been able to kidnap your boy."

"Its not your fault. Its theirs."

"If you say so." He looked at my hand on his, but I still kept it right there. "Now you should still get some sleep, Swan. Please."

"I can't. When I try to fall asleep, I just keep thinking of Henry. I'm scared that I won't find him. I couldn't live with that. I abandoned him once, I can't do it again." I was crying now. Hook turned his hand, so he could intertwine our hands and gave mine a light squeeze, trying to comfort me.

"You will find him, Swan."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"I never saw you fail and you won't start now." He smiled at me while wiping my tears away. I gave him a small smile in return, but the tears didn't stop. "I maybe don't know  
you that much, but I figured out, that you do everything you can for the people you love and you love Henry more than you love anyone in the world, so I'm pretty sure, you will  
succeed." 

"I hope you're right. I couldn't live without Henry. Not anymore." And then I did an unexpected thing for the both of us. I didn't even realize what I was doing before I was  
already in his arms. I hugged him tightly.

It was nice to be in Hooks arms. It almost felt like I was supposed to be there. It felt like home. It gave me comfort.

When we both pulled away, I didn't want to let go, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

I then took his flask and drank a bit if rum. After that I gave it back to him and he took a sip.

We sat there for hours, I think. Handing each other the flask and drinking rum.

"How come that your rum is never empty? We've been drinking for quite a while." Iobviously. I couldn't really talk straight anymore. I'm impressed he actually understood me.

"Its enchanted, love. So you were right. It is never empty." he smiled an adorable smile, being proud of his rum never being empty.

It was kind of a very stupid smile and I couldn't stop laughing. After a few minutes I still couldn't stop and it hurt already. I can't remember laughing that much. Ever.

...

I woke up by my head falling to the ground and it really hurt since my head ached on it's own already. I looked up and instantly regretted it because the light hurt even more.

Over me there were Hook and my dad. Dad held Hook by the collar and was punching him.

I stood up, trying to pull them away from each other. Mary Margaret was too and after a while we actually managed ti succeed.

"David!" mum sounded angry. "What were you doing? We all need to get along with each other and don't fight, if we wanna find our grandson."

"Well I wouldn't have to fight him, if he would stay away from my daughter."

Explains why my head fell. I probably used Hook as a pillow and David thought something was going on between us.

"Dad. You don't need to worry. There's nothing going on between us and even if there would be something going on, it wouldn't be your business."

"He's a pirate, Emma! I'm just trying to protect you. Pirates aren't good and he would only hurt you."

I laid my aching head in my hand. I really didn't need my overprotective dad right now.

Then I noticed something cold brushing against my forehead. It was coming from my hand. I took a look.

There on my ring finger was a ring, which I recognised as Hooks. How did that end up there?

I tried to remember the night before, but it was hard. I obviously drank too much.

After a while though I could remember everything clearly as if it was happening all over again.

I couldn't sleep, so I joined Hook, who was staying up to protect us. We drank a lot of rum. We laughed a lot and after a while we started kissing. We did that for quite a while and then we exchanged multiple »I love you's«.

After we were done with that, we started kissing again, only breaking it to say »I never want to spend any day without you ever again« over and over again.

Then we got married.

 


	5. Back To The Future

**Emma's POV**

I was sitting in the garden of mine and Killian's house and was thinking about my family and Storybrooke in general. I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't even notice Killian sitting down next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"You okay, Swan? You seem a little down today."

"I'm fine. I was just thinking of Henry, my parents, Storybrooke. It's been exactly 2 years since we were last there." I look him deeply in the eyes and then I hug him, burying my head in the crook of his neck. "I miss them."

He ran his hands through my hair.

"I know. But you will see them again."

"How can you be so sure? We've been trapped in the past for 2 years now. Why do you think we will find a time-portal, when we didn't succeed by now?"

"I don't know, if we will find one, but I have hope, that we will. I've never seen you fail and won't start now. You just have to believe in yourself."

Well...that's easier said then done. Especially because I don't have magic anymore and getting it back is quite the challenge. But maybe Killian is right. Maybe I just need to start believing in myself.

"You're right." I look up at him and kiss him. It starts slowly and softly, but gets more intense in a matter of seconds. I move to sit on his lap and starts to kiss my neck. But then we're interrupted by a loud cry of a baby. Our baby to be exact.

"I'll go check on Leia." I stand up and go inside. Killian follows me though.

When I reach the nursery of my daughter, I pick her up from her crib and hug her tightly.

"Shhh. It's alright my sweetie. Shhh."

She doesn't stop crying and Killian joins our hug. We stand there like that for minutes or maybe it's hours until she stops crying. I kiss her cheek then and Killian her forehead.

I didn't even realized, that I cried too until Killian wipes my tears away. That happend almost every time when Leia starts crying because I get very nervous and worried then. I'm happy she doesn't cry that often. I want my little princess to be happy.

...

The three of us were now sitting in the garden on a blanket. I held Killian's hand and Leia was sleeping peacefully in between us.

I loved these moments of my life in the Enchanted Forest. When I was still in Storybrooke, there was always a crisis. I rarely had any time off, in which I could just relax.

But here I also don't have Henry or my parents. I miss them terribly and I wish I would be with them right now.

"Swan?" Killian said rather confused, but also happy. I looked in the direction he was looking and saw a portal opening.

"Do you think that is a time-portal?"

"I hope so...what did you do?"

"Nothing I was just thinking about how much I wanna be with Henry and my parents right now. That must have opened the portal. Gold once said, that magic is about emotion...I guess that was right."

He stood up and picked up Leia. Then he reached out his hook for me to take.

"Let's don't waste time, love. The portal could close again, if we don't take it."

I took his hook with my hand and the three of us jumped into the portal, never letting go of one another. I thought of Henry.

A few moments of falling later, we were lying in the farmhouse of Zelena in Storybrooke. Everything looked just as I remembered it.

I looked over at Killian and our daughter, who was still sleeping in his arms. We both stood up and as soon as we did I jumped into my pirate's arms too. Hugging him tightly.

"We are finally home."

"So you don't plan to go back to New York anymore?"

"No. Being away from here showed me, that this...Storybrooke...is my home. I was once told, that you don't have a home until you just miss it and the last few years I missed this place so much. I won't go away. Not ever. Especially not without you. I love you." I kissed him and after that we went to Granny's.

We reached Granny's and went through the door. The little bell ringed. I loosened my grip on Killian's hand and ran towards my parents. I hugged them tight, which obviously confused them since it took them a little to return the hug. After that I hugged Henry so tight that I was afraid of choking him to death.

"I missed you so much. All of you."

They seemed even more confused now, but ignored the statement.

"We were worried about you. You weren't answering your phone and Zelena's time portal somehow opened  itself." David said, hugging me again.

"I noticed. I fell through it."

"What?" My mum said, genuinely worried. "How long were you trapped in the past?"

"Two years."

"Two years?! I'm so sorry my baby. I never wanted you to have to be alone ever again. But still you've been alone the past two years."

"It's okay, mum. I wasn't alone. Hook saw me fall through the portal and jumped after me."

David wasn't too happy about that information.

Then there was a cry. I turned around and found a crying Leia and Killian trying to soothe her. I went to them and kissed her forehead.

"It's alright, little love." Killian said to her and she stopped crying. His voice often soothes her. Probably because he always tells her stories, when she falls asleep.

"Why does Hook have a baby in his arms?" David said angrily, probably suspecting that it's our kid.

I turned around. "It's our daughter. Meet Leia." Henry and Mary Margaret smiled, but David looked like he wanted to kill my pirate, so I went to him and put my hand on his arm, trying to calm him and after 30 seconds he actually gave in and smiled at me.

Mary Margaret went over to Killian to look at her granddaughter. She look her small hand and shook it lightly. "Hi Leia."

Then she turned around to me again.

"So you and Hook are together?"

"We're married."

"What? But I missed it. How could you do that to me?"

"Actually you were there. You just can't remember."


	6. Love Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by Taylor Swift's song Love Story

**Emma's POV**

 

Today is my 18th birthday, so I think I'm supposed to be happy, but I don't feel any different than on any other day.

I'm currently standing on a balcony of the castle I live in, staring into the world outside. I'm the princess of Misthaven, so I don't get to go out very often. Most days I feel like a prisoner in my own home.

But I also could never bring myself to run away from here. I couldn't do that to my parents, Queen Snow White and King David, my mom calls him Charming though. I love them a lot and I would miss them so much, that it could kill me. I mean you can die of a broken heart, right?

From far away I saw a ship approaching our kingdom. I looked at it for a while, thinking of how amazing it must be to live on a ship. You're totally free there.

But I was interrupted by my mum. She called for me, so I decided to go to her. I don't want her to get mad because it always stresses her a lot.

"What's wrong, mum?"

She turned to me and had the brightest smile on her face, that I ever saw.

"Your dress arrived, Emma. For the ball tonight. You have to try it on. It's amazing."

I took the dress from her and headed to my room to try it on. When I finished I looked at myself in the mirror. I hate dresses, but I have to admit, it does look kinda nice on me.

I exited my room and as soon as I did I saw tears forming in my mothers eyes.

"Oh, Emma. You look so beautiful. All eyes will be on you. Every prince in the realm will want to propose to you."

Not that again. I told her numerous times, that I'm not ready for marriage and that I don't wanna marry anyone just because he's a prince of some rich kingdom.

Someday I wanna marry someone I truly love. Someone who's my true love. I wanna have that kind of love, my parents share. I want someone to look at me the way my dad looks at my mom.

But all that will happen in the far of future. Not now. Maybe in 20 years or so.

...

"Announcing Princess Emma of Misthaven. This ball is in honor of her birthday."

I took a deep breath and then went down the stairs into the ballroom. My mom was right, all eyes were on me. But it's nothing I'm not used to by now.

I looked through the crowd until my eyes stopped and focused on someone I've never seen before.

He was very handsome. He had the bluest eyes I've ever seen. It were that kind of eyes you couldn't help but stare into. It felt like I was born to gaze into them, like I just knew them.

I continued to observe him throughout the night. People always tried to talk to me, but I hardly realized what they were saying or that they were talking at all.

Suddenly I lost him in the crowd. I was searching for him in the whole room until a voice startled me.

"You looking for someone, love?"

I rapidly turned around only to realize it was him. He was smirking at me.

"Do you always scare the hell out of random people?"

He chuckled.

"You're not random. You're the princess."

"Yeah. And who are you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Perhaps, I would."

"So that's why you've been stalking me all evening."

"I wasn't...okay maybe I was, but that's only because I've never seen you here before."

"Well that's because I've never been here in this castle."

We stood there awkwardly. I didn't know what to answer. It's embarrassing enough, that he caught me staring.

"Would you care to dance?"

I looked at him surprised, but soon gave him a soft smile. He held up his hand and I took it. Then he guided me to the middle of the dance floor. We danced all night long.

...

On the next day, I realized I don't even know his name, which upset me a lot.

Then I heard something. I think someone was throwing pebbles against my window. I went to it and was met by the guy from the ball. I smiled at him and then went down to him.

We stood in the garden together and I hugged him as soon as I arrived.

"Someone obviously missed me."

"Yeah. I did. I never even got your name."

"Listen, please don't freak out. My name is Killian Jones, but most people have taken to call me by my more colorful moniker. Hook. Captain Hook."

My mouth dropped and I took a few steps backwards. That can't be true. He can't be a pirate. He was so nice to me.

"You don't need to be afraid of me though. I would never hurt you. I like you a lot."

He took a few steps towards me and reached for my cheek, but before he could get close to me, my dad arrived.

"Get. Away. From. My. Daughter. Pirate."

"Go before he gets here. He hates pirates. He'll kill you. Run."

I care too much about him to get him killed. I smiled one last time at him before he did as he was told.

...

Later I sat on a little staircase in my room, that was there, so I can reach my bed. Under the staircase there are a lot of books.

I was crying and sobbing until no tears were left. Killian is a pirate, but I don't even care about that. I wanna be with him, but now that he met my dad, he'll probably never come back. I hope he does though.

Then I saw a bird landing on my window sill. It had a letter in its mouth. I took it.

_Dear Princess,_  
_I'm sorry that i had to leave so early and I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, that I'm a pirate. But I wanted you to like me and you would've never done that if you knew._  
_I was only at your ball because I originally planned to kidnap you, so your parents would pay us ransom, but as soon as I laid my eyes on you, I knew I couldn't do it._  
_I'm sorry for everything. I hope you can forgive me. If you do, I'll be in your garden at midnight._

...

When I arrived in the gardens at midnight, Killian was actually there. I approached him fast.

As soon as he saw me, his face lit up like he just saw an angel. He ran towards me and lifted me up.

"You came? So you can forgive me?"

"Yeah. I like you a lot, so I don't wanna lose you. Ever."

"That will be difficult with your parents. They don't want us to be together. You're the bloody princess. I'm a pirate."

"I don't care what they think. You're my prince and that's all that matters. I know this won't be easy, but let's try. We will find a way to be together."

"I know. We will."

We kissed then. It was most magical thing I've ever experienced and as soon as our lips connected, I've realized, that what we have could be true love. I already know that I love him which is scary as hell but I don't really care. I wanna scream it from the rooftops of our castle.

...

It's been half a year since the night of mine and Killian's first kiss. It has been our only kiss too.

I haven't seen him since that night and spend every other night since then, hoping he would send me a message or that he would turn up at my window, but all that never happened.

I get tired of waiting and want to give him up, but that's easier said than done.

I was currently in the village at a store for clothing with my maid. I was looking through different dresses and shirts, when there was suddenly a hand on my mouth, pulling me out of the store. I was too shocked to react.

Outside the window my Kidnapper turned me around and I almost cried when I realized it was Killian.

"Killian?" I said with a weak voice, I doubt he heard it, but he did. Tears were in my eyes now. "Where were you all this time? I've missed you. I felt so alone and always hoped you'd come back, but you never did. I was so-"

He interrupted me by getting down on one knee and pulling a ring out.

"Marry me, Emma. Then you'll never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad, you'll pick out a white dress, it's a love story, baby just say Yes."

"Yes. I will marry you."

He picked me up and spun me around. I still can't believe he's here and that's we're getting married. We'll have our happily ever after.

 


	7. Death Visions

**Emma's POV**

Lately, I've been having these visions about my future. They're always the same. I'm on Main Street, fighting against a dark hooded figure, whose identity is unknown to me. For a little moment it looks like I can actually win, but then my hand starts shaking, just like when I have a vision, and the dark hooded figure kills me with a sword.

Every time I have this vision, I feel terrible afterward. My heart pounds very fast like it's about to jump out of my chest. It hurts. And of course, it isn't nice to know, that I'm going to die soon. I had so much left to do. My life just started since for 28 years I've been all alone and miserable. For the first time, I'm actually happy, but I know it's going away.

But my inevitable death isn't even the worst part of having this vision, it's my family having to watch me die. The expressions on all their faces are branded into my brain. It's all I see whenever I look into their eyes.

I can even see it now, clearly in front of my eyes.

My mom is pointing her bow and arrow towards the figure. My dad is running towards me with his sword. They both look angry, but also very sad. I hate that I'm the reason they're sad. I want them to be happy. They deserve it. They've suffered enough thanks to Regina.

Then there is Henry, burying his head into Killian's chest. My pirate has his hand protectively on my son's shoulder.

I love how much they've bonded. They know each other better than Neal and Henry ever did. Killian would also never leave him, unlike Neal. He's better to us.

I hope they stay in touch after I'm dead. I don't want Henry to ever be alone and the same goes for Killian. My pirate was alone enough in his life after Liam and Milah had been taken from him.

Now he has people, that care about him again. People who love him. A family. He doesn't deserve to lose it again and I have hope, that he won't. But no one could ever know for sure. Fate is cruel after all.

Suddenly my hand starts shaking and I begin to have a vision. Again. I have the feeling I get them more and more every day.

It's the same like always. I'm on Main Street in a fight. My family's there, but they can't safe me. I die.

Just as sudden as the vision started, it stops and two strong arms wrap around my body from behind. I turn around and snuggle against Killian's chest, breathing in his perfect scent. He strokes my hair gently with his hand.

"Another nightmare, love?"

"Yeah."

I know it's wrong to lie to him. I hate doing it, but I just can't tell him. He deserves to be happy and when he knows, he couldn't be completely happy. There would always be a part of him that worries because every day could be my last. I just can't stop living my life because of that.

Also, Killian would try to find a way to safe me, which is pointless since there isn't one. It would only waste the little time we have left.

"No, it wasn't a nightmare, my love. You and I both know that. You're an open book, remember?"

Why do I need to be an open book to him? I hate it. He won't let go before I tell him the truth, which I can't do.

"I know something's bothering you, Swan. Ever since we came back from New York."

I look up at him, signalizing him to stop asking, but of course he doesn't. Sometimes he can be as stubborn as I am.

"Please talk to me, Swan. I can help. Whatever this is, it's eating away at you. We could get past it together.  I love you no matter what."

"And you know, that I love you too, but I just can't tell you this. Please don't make me say this. I admit there is something going on, but I can't say it out loud yet. Give me a little more time, okay?"

"Okay."

I smiled brightly at him and a single tear escaped my eyes at the thought of Killian having to watch me die. I never thought that I'd be the one to hurt him. Ever. I never intended to cause him pain.

But I also don't regret falling in love with him because no matter how much time we had together, was worth it. We changed each other.

He isn't the villain he once was and I'm not broken anymore. He lit up my world. Because of him, my life started to make sense again. He's the only person in the world, who always believed in me even when no one else did or when no one else would. He fixed me.

The only thing I regret is not realizing how amazing he is earlier. I should've never left him on the beanstalk. I should have accepted, that I have feelings for him after our first kiss in Neverland. But I never let myself believe in us. It's Neal's fault. He broke me. He made me think, that all men are idiots and that they always just leave.

Tears were streaming down my face swiftly and Killian was holding me tight like his life depended on it.

I forced myself to stop crying and murmured a soft "I'm sorry." But he heard it anyway.

I felt him shake his head and then his hand was on my chin, lifting my face, so he could look deeply into my eyes.

"Never say, that you're sorry about anything ever again."

I laughed softly. It's insane how I can go from being miserable to happy by only looking into his blue eyes.

But I guess, that's what true love's about. We can always cheer each other up.

"And about the thing, you don't wanna tell me...it's alright. I choose to believe the best in you. You can tell me on your own time."

 


	8. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more CaptainCobra (Killian&Henry) than CS

**Killian's POV**

"Maybe we should stop searching for today." David said. We've been looking for Emma for hours.

But we've found nothing.

Now I wanna kill the Evil Queen even more. She made a wish, so that Emma wouldn't be the Savior and then Emma got sucked away by magic. And we have no idea where she is or could be. If she's okay.

"No! I'm not giving up! She could be in danger."

"But we're both exhausted and if she is in danger, we could never defend her in this state. We need rest. We continue our search tomorrow. Promise."

"But..."

He cut me off. "No buts. I wanna find her too. I also don't wanna give up. I'm her dad after all. I can't fail her. But we aren't helping her with being exhausted as hell."

I sighed and nodded at David. He put his hand on my shoulder before going home. I did the same.

It felt weird to go home all alone. Usually I have Emma with me to keep me company, but today, there's no one in the streets of Storybrooke. It's the middle of the night after all.

When I reach the house and try to unlock it, I realize it is already unlocked. Guess Emma and I forgot it this morning.

But when I entered the house I heard, that the magic Tv box thing was turned on. I went into the living room and saw a sleeping Henry on the couch. He must've fallen asleep while watching whatever the thing is called.

I went to him and turned the magic box off. Then I took off my hook and lifted Henry up slowly, trying not to wake him.

I went upstairs to his room with him and put him in his bed. Luckily he didn't wake up.

But when I put a blanket over him, he stirred in his sleep and after a few moments his eyes opened slowly.

Bloody hell!

I really didn't meant to wake him. He needs rest.

"Hook? What time is it?"

"Three in the morning. You fell asleep on the couch. And you should just continue to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you. Sorry."

"It's okay."

He smiled and I said goodnight to him before approaching the door, but Henry stopped me.

"Hook, wait. Can you stay for a while? Just until I fall asleep?"

"Of course."

He smiled grateful and I sat down next to his bed. Henry just lay in his bed, looking worried and sad.

"Is everything alright, Henry? You seem upset."

He turned to me and nodded.

"I am. I actually don't really wanna fall asleep again. I'm having these crazy dreams about all awful places. In my dreams my moms are trapped in those. The dreams always end the same...With them dying."

Tears rolled down Henry's cheeks. I moved closer to him and stroked his hair.

"Everything is going to be alright. We will find Emma and Regina and they will be just fine."

"You don't know that. They could already be dead. Maybe the Evil Queens wish caused my mom to don't exist at all. Maybe she wouldn't have been born when she's not the Savior."

"You shouldn't worry so much, Henry. It means that you suffer twice, when something actually happens. Which it won't."

"You're impossible. You've become just as optimistic as my grandma. And I thought no one could ever be that optimistic."

I chuckled because I once thought the same. I guess spend too much time around the Charming's. But that's actually a good thing. They're Emma's family and I wanna Time with them. It makes me feel closer to her.

Like right now, being with Henry makes me feel closer to her even though she's probably in another realm.

I'm trying to comfort him, but it also helps me dealing with the fact, that Emma's missing.

But that mean, I'll give up searching for her. I'll never do that. Not even in the case of certain death. Hell...not even when I'm dead. I'd still fight for her in the Underworld.

"Look Henry, tomorrow morning your grandpa and I will continue our search for your moms. We won't give up until we find them."

"Okay. I believe you. At least I want to. I can't lose both of them. Not again. I already lived 10 years of my life without Emma. I don't wanna spend any less time with her. Especially because of her visions. She's already dying, but I don't want it to be right now."

"She won't die, Henry. We won't let her. We'll find a way to safe her. She's the Savior and saved everyone in this town multiple times. Now it's our turn to safe her. We can't lose her."

"No we can't. We lost enough people."

He smiled and got up, hugging me tight. It was really surprising, but it still only took me a few moments to react. I hugged him back tightly.

 


	9. Liam 2.0

**Killian's POV**

Me and my Swan were sitting in our kitchen, having breakfast. Henry already left for someplace he calls school.

"So, I have the day off. We could do something together. Unless you have other plans, of course." Swan said.

"I was actually planning on visiting my brother in the hospital."

"Oh. Okay...what about after that?"

I smiled. It doesn't happen often, that my Swan gets nervous. She has problems with being vulnerable. Even around me.

"Sounds lovely...but I thought you could accompany me to the hospital."

Her mouth fell open in shock. She was obviously panicking. I wanna know what's bothering her, so that I can fix it.

"I don't wanna burden you guys...You don't know each other that long. You probably have lots to talk about. I don't wanna stand in your way."

"You wouldn't, but if it would make you uncomfortable, you don't have to come with me. It's alright. I would never force you to do anything you don't want."

She takes my hand across the table and gives it a light squeeze.

"I don't wanna disappoint you though. If this is important to you, I'll come with you...I'm just worried. It's not because I don't wanna meet him."

"No. No. You don't have to come. But what worries you?"

She bites her lip.

"It's silly."

"Humor me, my love. You can tell me anything. I promise not to laugh nor judge you."

"I'm scared, that...he won't like me. Like your other brother."

I stand up and knee in front of her, taking her hand and kissing it.

"If he doesn't see how amazing you are, it's his fault. His loss. Not yours. You're the best thing, that ever happened to me. I don't need his approval to love you. I didn't even listen to my older brother, so I sure as hell won't listen to my baby brother. I won't let him come between us. You're more important to me than he'll ever be. Than anyone would ever be."

She now had tears in her eyes and she had the biggest smile on her face, that I've ever seen. I kissed her quickly.

"So...will you join me, my Swan?"

She nodded in an instant and we started our walk to the hospital.

...

We reached Liam's room and entered. As soon as we did, he smiled at me until he noticed Emma. He glanced confused in her direction.

"Hi brother. How nice of you to visit and not to be rude, but who is that? Another person, that works in this place?"

I was kinda mad at him for being rude to Emma. It took long enough for her to agree coming here. She doesn't deserve his rudeness. No one is allowed to be mean towards my Swan.

"No this isn't a nurse. It's Emma, my girlfriend."

He looked at her and smiled awkwardly.

"Sorry. Nice to meet you. I'm Liam. Killian's brother, which you probably already knew."

She nodded and smiled back softly. I gave her hand a light squeeze.

...

Emma and I stayed for quite a while, chatting with my brother and Nemo. Liam and Emma seemed to get along great, which I'm happy about.

Now Emma won't have to worry whenever we see him.

I don't like it when she worries about anything. Because then I worry too. About her. I always wanna protect her. No matter who I have to fight.

Suddenly Swans talking phone rang. She looked at the screen.

"It's Henry. Excuse me."

She answered the phone and went into the corridor. I looked after her until my brother chuckled.

"You don't need to worry. I think she's capable of being on her own for a little. There are a lot of people on the corridor anyway. She'll be fine."

"I know."

"I was kidding." He said and smiled. "I'm glad that you're happy. It changed you."

"See...I was right." Nemo said. "You are capable of being happy. All you needed was a family. Emma."

"And that boy. Henry, was it?"

"Yeah."


	10. Trust Me

**Emma's POV**

 

I was about to climb down the beanstalk again when something or rather someone crossed my mind. 

Hook.

I can't leave him here to die even though I don't trust him. It would make me feel too guilty in the end, so I turn around and again and face the giant Anton once more.

"Actually, I get two favors."

Anton doesn't look very happy about that. He starts to get angry...again.

"What?!" He says.

"From the way I see it, I could've killed you twice. The poison and when you were knocked out. I didn't."

I totally make that up right now, so it better work. I don't have a Plan B nor could I fight the giant again just now. Also, I won't leave without Hook. He doesn't deserve it since he risked his life to get me here.

"What do you want?" Anton says, clearly annoyed.

I smile and chuckle at that.

"The guy who's here with me...I want you to let him leave with me."

"No."

I hold up the poisonous sword again, pointing it at the giant. Maybe it will scare him again. I need him to say 'Yes' since I won't leave Hook.

"I can, however, keep him here for ten hours without harming him. Then I'll let him go and he can follow you."

I should agree with that, It's probably for the best. Hook will be alright and I'll have a headstart. I wouldn't have to trust him anymore since I'll be long gone when he reaches the bottom of the beanstalk.

"Deal. But let me at least get him out under the stones," I'm afraid, that he's hurt. I don't know why. I shouldn't care, but I do. "And say goodbye."

Anton isn't thrilled, but nods.

I smile lightly at him.

"There are handcuffs near the stones. Restrain him, so that I know, that he won't follow you. So that I can trust you to do nothing stupid like trying to free your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," I don't like this. I don't wanna handcuff him. He'd feel like a prisoner and that isn't a nice feeling. I'd know. 

But still, I have to do it. Anton wouldn't let me go otherwise.

So I make my way towards the stones under which Hook is stuck and begin to get rid of some of them until I can see Hook.

As soon as he sees me, his face lights up like a Christmas tree. I reach out my hand, pulling him out from under the stones.

He chuckles. "You are bloody brilliant, amazing."

And I can't help but smile a little. No one ever gives me compliments except maybe Henry. No one really believes in me except the two of them. And Hook hasn't done anything else since we met even though, that was hardly a day ago.

"May I see it? The compass?"

I'm not happy about this, but I show it to him anyway, never letting go of it, though.

"It's more beautiful than legend." He smiles and that almost makes me smile too. Why does he have that effect on me? I don't even like him. It's not fair.

It would be far easier to completely hate this pirate, but somehow I can't.

Then Hook reaches out to touch the compass, but I pull it away and store it safely in my jacket again. Surprisingly he doesn't mind and continues to smile at me.

"Come. Let's go." He says and holds out his hand.

I take it and it surprises me how perfectly my hand fits in his. It's like their magnets. Like they belong together and are meant to hold each other.

We stare into each other's eyes and I almost lose myself in his eyes. They are so blue like the infinite ocean. The perfect place to get lost in.

But I quickly collect myself and handcuff Hook with my other hand. I go backward very fast, out of his reach. He stands up quickly.

"What are you doing?" His voice is hardly a whisper. He sounds sad, confused and betrayed right now, but still so calm. Almost like he would never dare to shout at me. It breaks my heart into a million pieces to hear him this way because I know that voice from myself. Far too good. I've used it far too often in my past. I can imagine the pain he's in right now.

I look down, not being able to look into his eyes anymore. "Look...I-I can't..."

"Emma, look at me. Have I told you a lie?" It's the first time, he actually uses my name. It rolls off his tongue so easily. I love the way it sounds even though I've always hated my name.

Usually, he calls me love or Swan, which makes me feel sick right now. No one ever bothered to give me a nickname. No one ever cared enough, but him and still I'm betraying him and leaving him here.

I actually dare to look up at him and I see the hurt in his face, that I could tell was there judging by his voice. It makes everything worse.

"I brought you here. I risked my own safety to help you. Why do this to me now?"

Because I don't have a choice, but I can't tell him that. I just can't, so I make up a lie.

"I can't take a chance that I'm wrong about you. Sorry."

I have tears in my eyes by now, so I quickly turn around, beginning to leave. I can't take this anymore. It was a bad decision to say goodbye. I shouldn't have done it. Now I feel even more guilty than I did before.

"Swan, wait. When you'd be sorry, you wouldn't leave. So what is this all about?"

I stop, but still refuse to face him. I can't let him see me cry. That would only tell him that he's right and that I don't want to leave him, which is kinda true, but I I have no choice and I refuse to give him false hope.

"Take a leap of faith, love. Trust me. I promise, that you won't regret it. I'll get you back to Storybrooke. Back to your boy."

I turn around to him again. He looks even more broken than before.

"How can I trust you? A liar would say exactly the same."

"Then use your superpower. You'll see, that I'm not lying to you."

"My superpower isn't perfect, it could lie."

"You should just trust me, Swan. I'm on your side. I mean I'm here with you against Cora's will."

"What?!"

"She just wanted me to gain your trust, but she wanted to go up here herself. I stole her counterspell. I disobey her...for you."

"But you know how powerful and dangerous she is. Why would you risk your life for me?"

No one ever risks their life for me. Why would they? I'm no one. I'm not worth it.

"I want to help you to get home."

"But why? Why do you care?"

"Your boy's in Storybrooke and I don't want him to lose you. I know the feeling and believe me, it's not pretty, but you know that yourself."

"You lied."

He looks puzzled.

"You said, that you knew I'm an orphan because you've been to Neverland and because I'm an open book. But that wasn't true. You've been left alone too."

"Yeah. I was. My mother died when I was 3 and my father left me and brother on a ship one night. He sold us to a captain so that we can serve him."

Why does he have to tell me this? Now I pity him and it will be even harder to leave.

"Where is your brother now?"

"He's dead."

"I'm sorry."

He smiles, but it's a fake one. I obviously brought back bad memories. Maybe it'll help him when I tell him about my past,  but I don't know how. I've never told anyone.

"My parents sent me through a magical wardrobe a few minutes after I was born to break a curse. I've been alone my whole life until recently. When Henry brought me to Storybrooke."

"Guess, we're a lot alike, Swan."

"Yeah. We are." I sigh. I have to go, otherwise, we get even closer and I won't be able to leave. If I'm being honest I don't even want to leave. Not anymore. We have to fight our way out of here. But how do I tell that Hook without Anton hearing it...I have a plan.

"I have to go now. Sorry." I look at Hook with a sad expression. I approach him and hug him tightly and whisper something into his ear. "The giant doesn't want you to leave with me. He wants you as a hostage for 10 hours, so we have to fight him in order to get out. Just stay here. I'll pretend to leave and throw the sword then."

Hook hugs me back as a sign, that he agrees with my plan, I think.

"Goodbye," I say and leave. Hook pretends to be mad at me.

I am now in the exit and hear the giant moving away again. He has his back to me, so I throw the sword and I lands in the middle of his chest. Good.

Anton falls to the floor. He's obviously in pain and dying. But I don't care. I go to Hook, uncuff him and we leave.

 

 


	11. Stay

**Killian's POV**

I arrive at the hospital in Storybrooke after the Wicked Witch has been defeated. I go to Snow's room since everyone is probably there. I need to talk to Swan. It's important.

And I was right...there she is. My beautiful Swan is standing in the doorway of her mother's room. And she's doing something I never thought she's capable of. She's smiling brightly.

I approach her.

"Never thought I'd see one of those." I tease her.

"It's called a baby." She says while turning around to me. She raises an eyebrow, which is usually my thing. But I don't mind her doing it. I could never be mad at her.

I look into her eyes and she's still smiling. She seems genuinely happy, so hopefully, she'll stay in Storybrooke. I mean when she's so happy right now, why would she leave? It wouldn't make sense. That makes me feel relief. I won't lose my Swan.

Maybe she'll even begin to trust me and accept, that she loves me just as much as I love her.

"No Swan. A smile."

"We won." She grins even more now and that makes me smile too.

It's the most beautiful thing in the world...my Swans smile. It causes me to stare at her lips, wishing that I could kiss her. Right here. Right now.

But I know I can't. So I look away for a little, but not for long since I already miss her face after a few seconds.

"With all the chaos, I never got a chance to say thank you."

Usually, I never thank anyone or apologize to anyone, but Emma is the rare exception. I'd do anything for her. I'd go to the ends of the world for her. I'd even die for her.

She looks at me, surprised.

"You really think I'd let you drown?"

No.

"Given our history...can you blame me for being uncertain." I chuckle.

And surprisingly Emma does the same.

We both look down. We're really in sync today.

"Has your power returned now that Zelena has been defeated?"

I still feel guilty, that she had to give up her magic to save me. If I had helped Ariel in the Enchanted Forest none of this would've happened. Swan wouldn't have lost her magic. It's all my fault.

"No."

"Sorry, love."

"It's okay." She looks down. "I won't need it in New York."

It feels like someone is stabbing me or if someone rips out my heart and crushes it.

I don't want to believe this. It can't be true. I can't lose her again.

The year in the Enchanted Forest was torture enough. I can't and don't want to live without my Swan. I don't even mind us not being together, but not having her in my life at all, that's the worst thing that can happen.

It feels worse than having to watch Milah die right in front of me if I'm being honest.

"You still plan to go back to New York?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"Zelena is gone. There's no danger, so Henry will be safe. There's nothing to protect him from anymore. You can stay."

She looks angry now. But why? I haven't said anything bad or wrong.

"You don't get to decide whether Henry is safe or not. I'm his mother. Not you. I know what's best for him and don't start with your 'what's best for him or best for you.' In doing this and you can't change it. No matter how much you wish you could."

"But it isn't dangerous here anymore. Please stay."

"It might not be dangerous at the moment, but we both know it won't stay that way. There are always dangers in Storybrooke. Constantly new villains to attack us. I can't stay here."

"Can't or won't?"

She gets angrier and angrier. There are tears in her eyes now and all I wanna do is to put my arms around her and chase all her troubles away. But I know that would be foolish. She'd get even angrier.

"This is none of your business. It's mine and Henry's. So just let me alone."

She turns around and begins to leave. I know exactly why. I could hear it in her voice. She's starting to cry. Because she doesn't want to leave but feels like she has too. She's scared and that's why she wants to leave. But I won't let her leave.

I run after her, grabbing her hand to stop her. She refuses to turn around.

"Please stay, Swan. I can't lose you."

She ignores it, but I can hear the silent sobs, she's trying to stop. I turn her around and hug her.

"You don't want to leave."

"Yes. I do. Why else would I leave, if I don't want to?"

"You're scared. This place and the people here mean a lot to you. You're afraid, that the people you love will leave you eventually, so you just run away first. They can't hurt you if you do it first."

She stiffens and I realize I'm right.

"How do you know that?"

"Because you're an open book. Also, we're a lot alike and I'd do the same."

I rub her back before pulling away to look into her eyes. I put my hand on her cheek and my Hook under her chin to make her look at me.

"You don't need to feel threatened by your brother. Your parents love you. No matter what. They won't leave you for him. You don't need to be scared."

She stares at me for a second, obviously debating whether to say something or not.

"It's not my parents I'm scared of. I know, that they won't leave me."

"Then what are you so afraid of, love?"

"You."

I stare at her in shock, surprise, and confusion.

Why she's afraid of me?

"I'm scared for you. When Zelena drowned you today, I was so scared. It made me realize, that I do care for you. More than I'd like to admit."

"You promised that your win my heart and that won't stop fighting for us, but you were gone. In that moment I realized once more, that everyone leaves. Even if it's not on purpose."

Tears were streaming down her face in full force now, but I was still in shock and couldn't move.

And then Swan shocked me even more. She put her hands in my hair and pulled me down to her. Crashing her lips on mine.

 


	12. A Future Without You

**Emma's POV**

I'm currently sitting on my bed in my parent's apartment and I'm thinking of Killian. That's actually all I've done ever since Hades is gone. It's peaceful in Storybrooke at the moment, so I finally get a day off.

But I wish there was another crisis. Then I wouldn't be able to think so much. I wouldn't be able to be upset about Killian. I wouldn't have time for it.

Grieving was never my strongest suit. I'm not good at it. I feel useless while I'm doing it and find more and more reasons to feel guilty. It's my fault, that Killian isn't here with me right now. I failed. I'm the Savior, but I still couldn't find a way to save my true love.

The thought of that makes me wanna throw something against the wall, so I grab a vase of flowers and throw it. I won't need them. My mom gave them to me so that I could lie them on Killian's grave. , but I never did. I never even went there. Not even after or before Robin's funeral, when I was already at the graveyard.

I couldn't bring myself to go there because then it would feel like he's really gone, which he is, but I'm still in denial.

As I see the vase shatter, I feel some kind of relief. I wouldn't need the flowers. Even if I visited him, I wouldn't give them to him. He isn't...wasn't a flower person.

Suddenly I hear a light knock on my door.

Seconds later Mary Margaret enters my room and smiles lightly at me. She approaches me and sits down next to me, taking my hand and squeezing it softly.

"What's up? Is there a new crisis or something? Am I needed at the Sheriff's station?" I ask her. My voice sounds different than usual and my throat hurts while speaking, which is probably because I haven't said a word for a few weeks now.

"No. Don't worry. Everything is still peaceful in Storybrooke." I look at her with a confused expression on my face. If everything is fine, then why is she here? In the beginning, my parents constantly visited me, but when I never spoke to them they decided to give me time. Is that time over now?

"I came here to talk to you. You know you can't hide up here forever. You need to join civilization again at some point."

I know that, but I wish it wasn't that way. I'd rather be alone. I'm not over Killian yet and I don't think, that I'll ever be. Being around everyone would only remind me more of him. I'd miss him even more if that's even possible and I don't think, that I can take that. Not yet. Not ever.

"Henry misses you a lot. He's also upset about what happened, you know."

I know that myself. Henry also used to visit me, but I also couldn't speak to him. I tried, but it didn't work. Now he doesn't come here anymore and it's probably for the best. I don't want him to have to see me like this.

Then Mary Margaret takes out something from the pockets of her jeans. As soon as I can identify it, I gasp. How did she find this? I shouldn't have thrown it away in this house. I should have destroyed it with my magic. She wasnÄt supposed to know. Not yet anyway.

I haven't even thought all this through. I can't speak about it. Not so short after losing my one true love.

"I found this is the trash. It's a pregnancy test and it's positive. It isn't mine, so it has to be yours."

I can't look her in the eyes. Tears are in my eyes, threatening to fall down my cheeks at any second. Until now I've pretended, that the test didn't exist, but now that my mom said it out loud, it feels real. Too real.

I've never wanted this. Not without Killian.

I don't want the test to be real. I don't want the baby. It would be a reminder of Killian and the future we can never have.

Now I can't stop the tears from falling. Not anymore.

As soon as Mary Margaret realizes that I'm crying, she apologizes and pulls me into her arms, hugging me like her life depended on protecting me.

She strokes my hair like dad does whenever he hugs me and I put my head on her shoulder like that day on the lake when I was forced to kill my true love. My pirate. My Killian.

The reminder of that day brings, even more, tears to my eyes.

After what felt like forever the crying stops and I pull away from my mom's embrace.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry, but I just couldn't hold it back any longer." I say, wiping the rest of the tears from my cheeks.

I avoid my mom's gaze but she takes mt chin and uses it to lift up my face. She looks at me with pity written all over her face.

"Don't apologize, sweetie. You've been through a lot. You're allowed to be vulnerable. I think Killian wouldn't want you to put your walls back up." No. He wouldn't. He told me to not put my armor back on even though I lost him. I promised him, but it's harder said than done. I didn't think it would be this hard. But now that Killian isn't here to remind me why I don't need my walls, it is hard. He isn't here anymore to keep me sane.

"He said the same thing."

She smiles at me.

"But it's hard, mom. I don't know how to do it without him."

"But please don't close up your heart again. You can find love again."

"No. I can't. It wouldn't be the same. No one could ever replace him." Tears are forming in my eyes again. "There's this thing dad says often ' _True love isn't easy, but it must be fought for. 'Cause once you find it, it can never be replaced_.'"

"Maybe he wasn't your true love. You just need to have hope, that your true love is somewhere out there. Then you can find love and happiness again. I mean Regina always thought, that Daniel was her true love, but she still found love again."

"Yeah. She _thought_. She didn't know, but I do." Plus the fact that she may have found love again, but it didn't last.

"How do you know? You've never been under a sleeping curse and true love is the rarest magic of all. How could you possibly be so sure?" She doesn't believe me. I guess I have to tell her then even though it's painful.

"When we went to find the ambrosia, there was this door with a scale. On the scale, it said ' _Only heart filled with true love can pass_.' So I had to weigh my heart to prove that our love is true."

"But that doesn't mean, that you won't have love in your life. You still have your family...your dad, Henry, your brother me...and your baby."

"I don't want the baby. I would only judge it for reminding me of Killian and the future we can never have. The baby deserves better than me as its mother."

"That's not true, Emma. Your heart will heal in time and then you'll love the reminders. You'll be grateful that you have at least something of Killian's."  
  
  


**...**   
  
  


I am now standing in front of Killian's grave. There were flowers, which made me kinda mad. While he was still alive, hardly anyone cared for him. Just me and Henry and possibly my parents. Belle. Robin. And now they pretend to be heartbroken? It's not fair.

I lie down his flask on the grave. I'm sure, he'd like this more than roses.

And then I start to speak to him and cry terribly the whole time.

_> > I'm sorry it took me so long to come here. But I just couldn't face your grave._

_I hope you're in a better place...I know I should be happy about that, but now it feels like you're really gone and I can't handle that._

_I miss you. I wish you were here. I wish I'd get to tell you, that you're going to be a dad. I wish you could meet our little kid. I wish, that we would've gotten our happy ending._

_You were right when you said, that I should live my life during the crises, but I didn't listen then. I should've. I've wasted our time together. And now, that you're gone everything is peaceful. I wish I wasn't the Savior. Then I could've spent time with you instead of solving problems._

_But I can't change the past, so I should look forward into the future. I promise you, that I won't put my walls back up. Not completely anyway and I also promise to make sure our baby will know who her or his father was. You won't be forgotten._

_I love you. Always have and always will. And I know you love me too. <<_   
  
  


Soon it becomes a regular thing to visit Killian. I tell him all about my life. Every little detail and that gives me comfort. A little.

 


	13. Jello

**This is set in and after the deleted CS scene in 2x12.**

"So your father said something interesting the other day." Mary Margaret said to her daughter, who was looking at her with a confused expression on her face.

"My fath-" Emma turned around to David, Grumpy and Ruby, who were sitting on couches in the hospital while they waited for Whale. "David. Yeah."

Even though Emma now knows, that she has parents, it still confuses her when anyone talks about Mary Margaret and David as her mom and dad. She never calls them that. She still needs time to get used to all that since she's been alone her whole life.

"If he and I went back _there_ , would you come with us?"

Emma raised her eyebrows and looked at her mom, clearly shocked.

"Go back to the Enchanted Forest ghost town? I can't - I mean-"

But luckily Emma didn't have to explain anything since their conversation was interrupted by Hook, who somehow managed to get out of the handcuffs Emma used on him.

"What's this?" The pirate said, referring to the jello he hold in his hand. "I found it on the tray."

Emma turned to him, being slightly angry, that he managed to escape. She's just doing it for his safety. If Gold sees him, he will kill him and Emma can't let that happen. She's Sheriff after all.

"Really?!" She said, while approaching Hook.

As usual he knew exactly what was on her mind, so he hold up the hand, that still had her handcuffs on it and said "Pirate."

"What the bloody hell is this?" He was genuinely confused. The 300-year old pirate isn't exactly used to modern food or modern anything to be more exact.

"Jello." A very angry Emma said.

"It's food. You eat it." Mary Margaret said at the same time. She's mad too. Must run in the family.

Hook raised one eyebrow as he does very often, Emma realized. "I thought it was a hallucination."

Then he looked at Ruby, who was laughing at his stupidness.

"You're quite real, aren't you." He said in a flirty tone to Ruby, which obviously made Emma even more furious. She took his arm and pushed him to his room.

"Go eat your jello."

As soon as they arrived in his room at the hospital, Emma pushed Hook into his bed and handcuffed him against it again.

"Again? I can get out of it anyway, love, so why bother?"

She ignored it for a while until glaring at him. If looks could kill, Hook would be in the Underworld by now. But he didn't mind Emma being mad. He even provoked her more.

"So why did you bring me here so fast, Swan? Was someone jealous?"

"Why would I be jealous?"

"Well...the real question is, why you wouldn't be. I'm devilishly handsome after all."

Emma couldn't help but chuckle and roll her eyes. He had too much self esteem for his own good, she thought.

"I wasn't jealous and I see no reason to be."

Now it was Hook's time to laugh.

K: "Sure you weren't. That's why you're blushing so badly right now."

E: "I'm not blushing."

K: "Yes you are. You look like a bloody tomato, love."

E: "Stop it."

K: "What?"

E: "Calling me 'love.' I'm not your love."

K: "Okay, love."

She playfully slapped him, which actually hurt due to his broken ribs.

E: "I was being serious. You shouldn't call me that or anyone. Maybe Ruby. You seem to like her."

K: "Who's that? The one from the hallway?"

Emma nodded while shaking her head. He's impossible. He flirts with everyone. Even if he doesn't know, who they are.

K: "I don't like her. Don't worry, love. There's no need for you to be jealous of her."

E: "How often does your self ego has to hear, that I wasn't jealous?"

K: "You can tell me a million times, love, but that won't change the fact, that you're lying. You were jealous."

E: "In your dreams."

K: "Oh you don't have any idea. You do are in my dreams, you know, love. I could tell you about it. We're on my ship...or more precisely my bed and you wear a lot less then right now-"

E: "Shut up! I don't care about your dirty fantasies. It's never gonna happen."

K: "Oh it will, Swan. I promised you this once before and I'm a man of my word. I will jab you with my sword and you'll feel it."

E: "Never gonna happen. I'll go now."

K: "Okay. You'll be back."

E: "No I won't."

K: "Yes. When you'll get jealous again and want to mark your territory. See you then, Swan. Or you could also wait on my ship til I get there. Or you could come back here later or don't leave. I can jab you with my sword anywhere..."

Emma just left the room, blushing as hell.

 


	14. The Truth

**Emmas POV**

I begin to wake up and the first thing I notice is the lack of Killians arms around me. I'd gotten so used to waking up in his arms, that I cant sleep without him by my side anymore.

So I reach out my hand to his side of the bed in an attempt to snuggle myself closer to him again, but as my hand hits the cold sheets, I realize that Killian isn't here.

I panic and open my eyes abruptly. He really isn't here. Where is he? Is he alright? I know he wouldn't just leave me, so that's the only solution to this puzzle. I need to find him ASAP.

I jump out of bed and the cold air of the night hits me, but I don't care. I have a mission. I need to find Killian. If he's really hurt, he needs me. I can't and won't let him down.

As I run towards the door, I hit the closet again. This happens all the time. I guess I haven't gotten used to it yet. In my old room at my parents apartment there was a door instead of the closet.

Also as I ran into the closet, something fell out of it. I look down and find a little black box, which doesn't seem familiar to me. It must be Killians. Maybe it will tell me where he is,  so I approach the window and examine the box with the help of the moonlight.

When I open the little box I freeze. Thats not possible. It can't be...but it sure is. In the box is a ring. It must have fallen out of Killians jacket. I can't believe it. He must plan to propose to me.

When that thought really hits me I suck in a sharp breath and tears begin to stream down my face. They're tears of joy though.

My pirate is going to propose to me. We're  gonna get married soon. We'll spend the rest of our lives together.

Suddenly I remember why I git out of bed in the first place. Killian.

So I close the box with the engagement ring and put it back into Killians jacket. I won't confront him about this. He probably planned something, so I won't destroy this. I won't deprieve him of a dashing proposal.

I leave mine and Killians room and walk down the stairs. There's light in the living room and as soon as I reach it, I see Killian sitting on the couch. He seems upset, but also focused, so he doesn't see me or he just ignores me, which I doubt.

I approach him slowly and sit down beside him. I loop my arm through his and put my head on his shoulder.

Emma: "Hi. Are you okay?"

Killian: "I'm fine. Why are you up? It's barely seven. You're never up that early."

Emma: "I woke up and realized, that you weren't there, so I got worries and decided to look for you."

Killian: "Sorry. I couldn't sleep, love, and I didn't wanna risk waking you up. You deserve some rest after everything, that you have to deal with at the moment. Or more like ever."

Emma: "I wouldn't have minded if you woke me in the middle of the night. If you ever have trouble sleeping again, you can wake me."

He smiles at me and kisses my forehead. Then we just sit there in each others embrace in total silence. Its very comfortable.

Emma: "Is everything alright?"

Killian: "Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"

Emma: "Well you have trouble sleeping. You go to Archie. When I came down the stairs you seemed so broken...I'm worried about you."

Killian: "There's no need to worry."

Emma: "Would you tell me, if there was one?"

Killian: "Of course."

Emma: "Promise?"

Killian: "Promise."

He kisses me softly on the lips. It was a sweet small gesture, but it didn't make me forget, that he was lying to me.

Emma: "What are you hiding from me?"

Besides the ring, but I can tell, that that isn't the reason he's so upset. If it would make him upset, he wouldn't have bought it in the first place. Or does he simply regret buying it? Did I do something to upset him, that made him over think his decision to marry me?

He looked at me with pain in his eyes. It made me want to cry. I hate to see him upset. I want him to be happy. Always. But now I failed. I caused him pain. Its my fault, but is it so wrong, that i want to know, if he's okay? I don't think so.

Killian: "There is something going on, but I don't know how to tell you. I don't wanna upset you or...lose you."

I don't wanna lose you. That sentence brought back so many bad memories. We said that to each other when I was forced to kill him.

Emma: "You won't lose me. Nor ever again. I couldn't live without you."

His smile was fake and full of pain. If this really upsets him, he has to tell me. It will help him to deal with it. Thats the one thing I learned from Archie. Talking about your problems makes them easier to accept. It helps you move on even though it doesn't erase the problem.

Emma: "You can tell me anything."

Killian: "I do wanna tell you, but I don't think I can. You'll see me differently. I can't - "

Emma: "No more secrets, remember?"

I put my hand on his cheek and caress it softly.

He takes a deep breath.

Killian: "Yesterday me and your father tried to find out what happened to his father. David found out that he wasn't drunk, but murdered. We also asked August for help and he brought me some pages of the storybook which he took out because he didn't want Henry to know, that he was Pinnocio. And when I looked at the pages, I realized that King George wasn't the one, that killed David's father. I did."

I suck in a sharp breath and try to hold back the tears in my eyes.

Emma: "You killed my grandfather?"

He nodded.

I am currently trying really hard to stay strong, but it's so hard. I can't run away though. I promised Killian, that I won't judge him about this.

But I can't hold this promise. It feels like the walls off the house are closing in on me and I suffocate. I pull my hand back from his face and stand up from the couch.

Emma: "I need to think and I need to be alone. I need fresh air. But don't worry. Ill be back soon, I just need some space."

I say really fast. I don't even know if he understood it. But ibdont wait for any reaction. I turn around and run out of the house to my car. When I begin driving I know,  that I have to talk to someone. But who?

I can't talk to my dad since I refuse to tell him, that Killian killed his father. He hates my boyfriend enough. That hatred doesn't have to grow any more.

That fact also leaves out my mother. She can't keep secrets from anyone. Also I doubt, that she would have time for me. She's always far too focused on talking to Regina and fixing her problems. She always puts her first.

I also can't go to Regina since she only cares about herself anyway.

Henry is also not an option. First because he's in my house and secondly because I refuse to bother him with my problems.

August is on a trip with his dad since I told him, that Marco was dead in the Wish Realm.

Archie hasn't open yet.

That leaves kinda everyone, that I could talk to.

I wish Else was still here. She always knew exactly what to say. She's been the beat friend I've ever had. But she has a kingdom to rule. It would have been selfish of me to ask her to stay.

After driving through the whole town for at least 3 times I stop at the docks. Being here makes me feel close to Killian. He's the person I always talk to when I'm down and since I can't talk to him this time, it might help me to think here.

That plan fails though since as soon as I approach the bench I always sit on, I see Killian.

I debate for a while whether I should join him or just turn around, but decide to gonto him.

Emma: "Looks like we had the same idea."

He turns around surprisedly and looks at me with a look so intense, that makes me fear, that it'll drill a hole in my head.

Killian: "Swan?"

Emma: "Hi."

I sit down next to him and without another thought I fall around his neck, hugging him tighter as ever.

Killian: "Does that mean, that you don't hate me?"

Emma: "I never hated you. I don't think, that Im capable of that. When I drove through town and realized, that I have no one to talk to but you, I decided to come here to feel closer to you. And just now I realize how much I've missed you. I don't wanna fight with you any more. I love you."

Killian: "But I killed your grandfather."

Emma: "Yeah I know. But that was a long time ago. You've changed a lot since then. You're not that man anymore. You're a hero now. My hero."

He smiles and hesitantly leans in. I chuckle and pull him to me by the lapels of his jacket.

Killian: "I love you too."

Emma: "I know."

He smiles even brighter and stand up only to get down on one knee. OMG. Its happening.

Killian: "Before all this mess, I decided to do something, which then never happened, but I intend to change that."

He pulls out the little box of his jacket.

Killian: "Will you, Emma Swan, make me, Killian Jones, the happiest man in any realm by becoming my wife?"

I smile brightly at him and i think, that I also have tears in my eyes. I lean down to him and kiss him passionately. He reacts by standing up, so I'm once again in the air like at Granny's after we reunited after New York.

When we pull away for air he still doesn't put me back to the ground.

Killian: "Was that a yes?"

Emma: "Yes. Yes. Yes."

We both giggle and he sets me down and puts the ring on my right hand,  but I stop him.

Emma: "No. You won't be able to have your wedding ring on your left hand, so I want mine on the right too."

He kisses me again and then he puts the ring on my left hand. After that he kisses the hand over and over again.

 


	15. I Miss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the 6x15 promo

Emma was sitting in the Rabbit Hole all by herself and her drinks just kept coming. She didn't count how many she had by now. But weirdly she wasn't feeling any effect from the alcohol either.

That didn't quite satisfy her since the only reason she is here, is to forget the previous day. Just for a while. She doesn't wanna think about it anymore. She can't handle it.

First she found out that Killian killed her grandpa and he didn't even think of telling her. Then they had this big fight about that, which resulted in her breaking off their engagement.

After that Emma went to their bedroom and sat on the bed, her face in a pillow and she cried badly, which isn't usual for her.

That she did until the tears weren't coming anymore. She then checked if Killian was gone and went out of the house herself. She went to the station in hopes off work distracting her, but it never did.

All she did that day was think about theit break up over and over again.

So when the time was right, she went home. As she opened the door and literally ran into the house, she realized that she might look to eager to get home.

But she couldn't help it. Deep in the corners of their mind she still hoped, that she would get home to Killian sitting on the couch, waiting for her, but after looking around for a few seconds, she realized, that he wasn't there. She was all alone.

She spent some time in front of their door, sneaking through the little window behind the curtain, but after a few hours she gave up. He wouldn't come home that day and maybe he will never do.

So she went upstairs and put on one of his shirts to sleep in. She knew, that she couldn't sleep without him by her side and since he wasn't there, his smell must do. Its not like she can run through Storybrooke in the middle of the night, searching for her pirate.

Maybe he doesn't wanna see her anyway. She broke up with him after all and not the other way around. She doesn't have a right to be missing him, but she does.

So that's how Emma landed at the Rabbits Hole with multiple glasses of rum, which didn't help since that remembered her even more of Killian.

Emma reached for her glass again only to realize, that it was empty. So she called for the bartender, who's one of the dwarfs. She doesn't know which since she couldn't care less at t the moment.

Emma: "Id like another one."

Bashful: "No. I think you've had enough. I served you almost a whole bottle of rum by now. "

Emma: "I don't care. Just bloody give me more rum."

He turned around, looking scared. The dwarves didn't forget that Emma turned Sneezy into a statue. They respet her quite a lot.

But Bashful couldn't keep from worrying about her either, so he decided to call his favorite person in the world. Snow White. 

Half an hour later Emma had several glasses of rum served by Bashful. She was currently sipping on her drink when someone touched her shoulder. She turned around to find her mothere and Regina.

MM: "Emma, sweetheart. Are you alright? Bashful called. He said youre trying to drink yourself to death."

Emma: "I'm fine."

But the two women didn't believe a word Emma said. They didn't even need Emma's superpower to figure it out since Emma was too drunk to hide her true feelings.

MM: "We both know, that that's not true. Emaa, sweetie, what happened? Why are you here, drinking?"

Emma: "He...he just took off. I have to move on."

Mary Margret only then noticed the lack of a certain ring on her daughters hand. She was still too overwhelmed by Regina giving the Evil Queen a happy ending. It didn't let her concentrate.

But now Emma will have all her attention.

MM: "Oh, Emma. I'm so sorry. What happened? Where did he go?"

Emma discussed in her head whether to tell her mother the truth about her grandpa and Killian, but she decided against it. He might have broken her heart, but she won't break his trust. She still loves him and will probably always do.

Emma: "We had this fight, which kinda caused me to give the ring back to him. I left the house and when I came back, he wasn't there. Nor has he come home. I don't think he will cone back. I messed up and now...I've lost him."

Emma was heavily crying by now and her mother hugged her tightly. She didn't like seeing Emma this upset.

MM: "I don't understand...I saw him yesterday evening by the docks. Ibtold him to tell you, that Regina's fine. He said he'd do it. He did have a bag though, but he said, that he just picked up some things from the ship."

Emma: "What are you saying...that he left Storybrooke?"

She nodded and Emma sprang to her feet, running out of the Rabbit Hole. She had to see for herself whether he left town or not. She hopes, that he didn't. She can't lose him forever.

The past few hours already killed her. She misses him so terribly. So intensley.

So she runs to the docks. Luckily his ship is still there. She goes on it only to find Belle.

Emma: "Hey. Is Killian here?"

Belle: "No. He hasn't been here in quite a while."

Emma leaves the ship again. She was filled with so much hope when she saw his ship in the sea, but he wasn't there.

False hope is the worst. It leaves you more upset than you already were.

Where else could her pirate be?

She has to fix this. She can't live without him. And even though she said, that she didn't want it anymore...she still wants to marry him. She wants them to be endgame.

Suddenly she realized a certain boat missing. His brothers submarine. She's seen it just a few days ago, so did Killian leave with it? With his brother?

Did he really leave her without as much as a goodbye? That stang. It felt like a dagger through her heart.

 


	16. Home

**Killians POV**

I finally got back to Storybrooke after a whole week without my Swan. I miss her so much. And the worst thing was, that I knew, that she would think I had abandoned her. That thought killed me every day. I never meant to hurt her. I always just wanted the best for her.

But I failed.

I should've been honest with her. But I wasn't. I was weak. I thought, that she would actually leave me, which I hate myself for. She deserves someone that trusts her at all times.

Also I never should've considered leaving on the Nautilus in the first place. Then Gudieon couldn't have gotten me to Agrabah.

I hope he didn't harm my Swan. She can't get hurt in more than one ways. I caused her enough pain. Actually I don't want her to get hurt at all.

Since I'm so worried about Swan I made it home in record time. It only took me 2 minutes to reach our home. Also I don't bother to knock since I need to know if she's alright. I can't wait for her to open the door only because we had a fight before I left.

When I entered the house I let out a relieved breath though. My Swans here sleeping peacefully on the couch. I smile at her even though she doesn't see it. I sit down next to her on the ground and just look at her. She's so beautiful when she's sleeping.

But theres still something else on my mind. Why is Swan sleeping on the couch instead of in our bed? She must have fallen asleep, so I carefully pick her up and carry her upstairs.

As soon as I have her in my arms she begins to cuddle closer into them. She puts her head in the crook of my neck and puts her arm around it.

As I reach our room I lie her down on our bed and kiss her forehead. "Goodnight my love. I love you." I say as quietly as I could. I don't wanna wake her. She deserves some rest.

Then I go back downstairs and lie on the couch. I don't think it would be a good idea to sleep in our bed. The last time I saw my Swan we had a fight. I don't wanna pressure her into forgiving me.   
  


A few hours later sleep still hasn't come. I'm thinking to much like I did during the past week. I guess I just got used to no sleep.

But then I am actually happy I'm still awake because I hear my Swan scream. She must've had a nightmare or is Gideon here and he's trying to kill her?

I sprint up the stairs so fast that it wonders me how I managed to do it. Stairs and I aren't the best friends.

Killian: "Swan? Are you okay? I heard you scream. What happened?"

I see tears streaming down her face but in a matter of seconds I see a big smile spread upon her face.

Emma: "Killian?"

I smile at her and go to her, keeping a little distance though. It's her decision. Not mine. I am the one that lied to her after all.

Killian: "What happened, love? Do you have nightmares?"

She didn't answer. She put her arms around me tightly, hugging me to death. And I hugged her back just as tightly. I will never lose her again. If there's one thing I will fight for, it's her.

Emma: "You're back...Where were you? I looked everywhere for you? I thought, that you left me. Like everyone else did."

Killian: "I will never leave you, Swan. I love you. I was in Agrabah. It's Gideon's fault. I was visiting Nemo and he force-started the ship. Sorry that it took me so long to find a way back home. I never meant to make you feel abandoned ever. I'm so sorry, Swan. I'm also sorry about lying to you and trying to burn my memories. It was the cowardly way out. And what's even worse...I was even too cowardly to admit, that I'm taking the cowardly way up-"

Emma shushed and put a finger on my lips.

Emma: "Lets not focus on the past. It's not all your fault anyway. We both made mistakes and all we can do is to put them behind us. To move on."

Killian: "You forgive me? And by the way, you never did anything bad. It's my fault. Not yours."

Emma: "No it's mine. You wanted to tell me. I knew something was up, but I assumed it was because of the proposal, so I decided to make it easier. I practically forced you to propose to me. You never meant to lie to me. You just didn't wanna hurt me. Destroy my happiness."

Killian: "You didn't force me to do anything. I could've told you then, but again I took the cowardly way."

Emma: "You're not a coward. You're a hero, Killian. My hero."

A single tear fell down her flawless face and wiped it away with my thumb. She was leaning into my touch, so I pulled her closer and connected our lips. They moved slowly in perfect sync. Full of love. True love.

Emma: "I missed you."

Killian: "I missed you too. And stop blaming yourself, love. It's all going to be alright. I know we can do this. Together."

Emma: "Together."

This reminds me of this thing we once watched on the magic box. I hated it because it made my Swan cry, but she loves it. A lot.

Killian: "Maybe together can be our always."

She giggled and kissed me again.

Emma: "I love you."

Killian: "I love you too."

 


	17. The Rabbit Hole

**Emma's POV**

Earlier I was packing Killians stuff to take it to the shed. I can't have it in the house anymore. It depresses me to see it. Also I've lost hope, that he will come back to me.

I always thought, that he was the one person, who'd never abandon me. The one person, who truly loved me no matter what, but I guess I was wrong.

Maybe I should believe everyone and move on. They all believe, that Killian did this on purpose. They don't trust him.

Especially my mom is convinced he just left me since she saw him with a backpack at the docks. And now his brothers submarine is gone. He probably left with him. Where else would he be? No one in Storybrooke has seen him the previous week.

But even though I slowly start to believe, that he just took off without a goodbye, I can't shake the feeling, that something bad might have happened to him. But I can't find him on my own and no one will help me since they all see him as my evil ex-fiancé.

Currently I'm at the rabbit hole. I got called there because of a fight, but apparently that never happened. My mom and Regina just decided to have a girls night with me, which I don't want. I want to be alone. Being with them won't help me get over Killian. Nothing will.

I won't ever stop loving him. Even if he did.

Because I don't wanna be here, i try to get out of it, but there's no discussion with my mom, who's completely drunk from one shot. Now I understand how she ended up sleeping with Whale. She really can't handle alcohol. And secrets.

My desire to leave grows bigger and bigger, but then Regina says something, that makes me want to stay. But not to have a girls night.

Regina: "Tell is about that no good pirate."

That sentence took me over the edge. I'm sick of them talking badly about him. They don't even know for certain, if he really abandoned me. Everything could've happened. I mean it's Storybrooke after all.

The next thing I do is choke Regina and lifting her off the ground with my magic. Just like when I first arrived in Camelot as a Dark One.

Emma: "Take that back!"

Regina: "Emma...stop - it."

She can hardly speak because my magic is still around her throat, but I couldn't care less. She deserves this. She insulted my true love. He doesn't deserve that. Especially not from someone as her.

Emma: "You have zero right to insult him. You are the worst person I know. You keep being mean to everyone who was once a villain when you are one. He changed. You didn't. You were too weak to change, so you took the cowardly way out. You split yourself from your evil side because you didn't wanna deal with your problems. What's even worse is, that you're even too cowardly to admit you're taking the cowardly way out."

Then suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. Mary Margret, who kept telling me to stop. That enraged me even more. But I did stop.

Emma: "You two always pretend to care about me, but you don't. You never believe in me. But still you call yourself my good friends. Good friends wouldn't do what you do though. You two put yourself first at all times."

Mary Margret was looking at me in total shock. I guess my little speech sobered her up a bit.

MM: "Of course I care about you, Emma. You're my daughter. I love you."

Emma: "Maybe. But it doesn't seem that way. For example when I just got back from another realm, when I fought Gideon and he almost killed me...Dad went home to tell you through a note since he thought, you might wanna check on me, but you never showed. Because you were too worried because Regina brought her ex back home."

Emma: "Also whenever I defeat someone you just take it in. You don't say anything about it, but when Regina for once in her life accomplishes something, you run through the whole town telling every single person how proud of her you are."

I was crying by now, which I don't do very often. But not having Killian here with me hurts. It's like all my strength is gone because he's my strength...and he's gone. What's even worse is that I have no idea where he might be or if he's okay. I wish I would have a way of contacting him, but he left his phone in his jacket. He doesn't have it with him.

Then I remembered something. The seashell necklace of him. He said you can talk through them. Even through realms. Maybe I could try contacting him with it.

So I run out of the bar to my car. I drive home fast. One of the advantages of being the sheriff is, that you can drive as fast as you want without getting any speeding tickets.

When I reach home a minute later I run into the shed. There it is. Killian's sea chest. I open it and take the shell out of it, saying his name into it. Over and over again, but there's no answer. Not one time.

The tears stream down my face once again. I was so relieved and full of hope when I remembered the sea shell, but it didn't work. I might never see Killian ever again. I won't ever know, if he still loves me.

I should've never reacted the way I did, when I saw him burning his memories. I shouldn't have been so harsh. We could've worked through that without breaking off our engagement.

It was a mistake. A mistake, that might've cost me Killian. My true love. The only person, who can ever make me 100% happy.

He's just gone with no way of finding him...

 


	18. I Will Always Find You

**Emma's POV**

After I wake up, I instantly run down the stairs to check whether Killian came back home or not. But as soon as I'm standing in our living room, Irealize that coming here was a dead end.

There's no trace of Killian here. He won't come back to me.

I never should have given him back the ring. He probably saw it as a sign, that I stopped wanting to marry him. Not ever again. He didn't see it as a fight. He saw it as a break-up. But that was never my intention. I never meant to lose him.

I go to the kitchen after just standing in the living room for what could've been hours because I was feeling paralized. I couldn't move even though I wanted to break down crying, no tears came though.

As I reach the kitchen, I make myself some breakfast even though I'm not hungry. Not at all. I just need to do something because otherwise I might go insane. I can't stop thinking about Killian.

A few minutes later Henry enters the house and calls for me, but I don't even register it. I'm too broken. The one person who I thought would never leave me, the one person I genuinely and completely trusted left me without as much as a goodbye.

I  wish he'll come back soon. I can't live without him. It can't be completely over. We're true love after all. Our relationship was supposed to go on forever. True love isn't easy though, so it must be fought for 'cause once you find it, it can never be replaced.

That's why I reach for my phone in an instant and dial his number. I push the Killian button as he would call it. But my attemp to talk to him fails. His phone must be off, out of charge or he doesn't have reception.

Henry: "Hi mum. Who are you calling?"

Emma: "Killian."

He then comes over to me and hugs me from behind.

Henry: "Is everything alright, mom? You seem upset."

Emma: "I'm fine."

I don't wanna include him in my personal problems. I still feel like protecting him form the cruel world. In my eyes he's still that 10-year-old boy, who knocked on my door in Boston and convinced me to go to Storybrooke with him.

Henry: "No you're not. For being a human lie detector, you're a miserable liar."

Damn.

Why are Henry and Killian so perceptive? My life would be far easier, if Henry couldn't figure out when I'm lying to him. I'm just doing it for his own good after all.

Emma: "There's nothing for you to worry about, Henry."

Henry: "Please talk to me, mum. Maybe I can help. I just want you to be happy and right now, you're not. Let me change that."

How do I get out off telling him? Maybe Killian _will_ come back and then I've worried Henry for no apparent reason.

Henry has grown to love Killian and he was quite excited about mine and Killian's engagement. It will be devastating for my son to hear about our 'break-up.'

Henry: "Mum, don't think so much. Just tell me. I'm not a baby anymore. I can handle it."

I shake my head. I won't bother him with my failing relationship. Then I see tears in his eyes. He worries already. He worries far too much about me. I'm not worth that.

His crying breaks my heart even more. I don't want him to be in pain, so I reach for his face and cup it with my hand, wiping away some of the tears.

Emma: "You don't need to worry. I'll be okay. I promise."

I smile at him and a small smile spreads across his face too. He then puts his hand upon mine, which is still resting on his cheek. He leans into my touch.

Suddenly he turns sad again and looks at me as if someone killed his puppy.

Henry: "Where's your ring, mum?"

Damn. I should have realized, that Henry would notice the lack of my engagement ring. Why am I so stupid?

I pull back my hand and tears begin to form in my eyes. That obviously gives Henry all the answers I couldn't give him. He starts to tear up too once again.

Henry: "You broke up?"

It wasn't a real question though. He already knew the answer.

Henry: "What happened?"

Emma: "We got into this fight and it resulted in me giving him the ring back. I then ran upstairs because I couldn't take the hurt in his eyes. Soon after that I heard, that he left the house."

Henry: "So you really are over?"

Emma: "I don't know, kid, but probably. He never came back, so I haven't talked to him since our fight."

Henry: "Maybe he will come back. Maybe he just wants to give you some space."

Emma: "You think so?"

Henry: "Yeah."

Emma: "I hope you're right, kid. For the both of us. I know how much you care about him."

Henry: "He's like the das I never had."

I smile at Henry.

Henry: "Also I don't think, that he would give up that easily on you. He loves you more than anything in the world. And I know you love him too. You're both too stubborn to let this go. You won't lose each other. I mean...you literally went to hell for each other."

I smile at Henry again and pull him in for a tight hug. His optimism was just what I needed. If Killian won't come back, I'll find him. I refuse to let my true love go.

Killian, I will find you. I will always find you.

 


	19. A Family Picnic

**Emma's POV**

I was actually still asleep, but I slowly began waking up, so I did hear someone saying "On three. One. Two. Three." I couldn't realize what was happening or what day it was though. I couldn't stop it either, so a few seconds later I felt two people jumping on top of me and Killian.

"Wake up!" I heard them both scream and it brought a smile to my face. They're obviously very excited. I couldn't blame them though. I am too.

Today Henry is coming home for a few days from college. I missed him so much and so did his little siblings. They've been talking about him and nothing else for the past weeks.

I slowly opened my eyes and instantly looked into my daughters eyes. She had the biggest smile on her face and then hugged me tightly. During the hug I then found my sons eyes. He was sitting on Killian and his smile was as bright as his little sisters.

Their eyes both were as blue as Killians, but they had my face and hair. If I wouldnt know any better I'd think, that they're twins, but they're not. Liam is five and Leia is three.

I then slowly sat up while Leia was still hugging me. I gave her a small kiss on the forehead and held my right arm out for Liam, who was instantly joining our hug.

It then didn't take long for Killian to join the three of us.

After our family hug we all went down to the kitchen for some breakfast. Pop tarts. I remember that Killian used to hate them, but they've grown on him. Henry will be proud of him. They've bonded a lot since Killian and I live together.

After breakfast we all got ready and drove to the nearest train station to pick Henry up. We obviously had good timing since Henrys train arrived the second we entered the train station.

A few minutes later Henry and Violet were approaching us. I was the first one to hug him, but that didn't last long since Leia and Liam were pulling on his jacket the whole time, waiting for their turn. They really loved their big brother.

The second I let go of Henry he picked them both up and hugged them tight before tickling them, which made them giggle a lot. Everyone at the station was watching them and most people had a smile on their face. It was really adorable.

I then hugged Violet and Killian did the same. After that my husband put his arm around me and we began to leave the train station. Henry couldn't hold Violets hand like when they approached us because his siblings refused to let go of him, so he carried them both out towards my yellow bug.

**...**

Later that day the whole family was sitting in the park on a blanket, having a small picnic.

Well not the _whole_ family, that many people wouldn't fit on a single blanket. It was only Killian, Henry, Violet, Liam, Leia, my parents, my brother Neal and me.

The kids weren't actually on the blanket though. Henry was swinging Liam around him and Violet was doing the same with Leia. Neal was running around them. The little ones were laughing so loud, that I think everyone in Storybrooke heard them. That makes me smile a lot.

Killian: "What are you thinking about?"

I turn to my husband and smile at him before kissing him softly.

Emma: "Nothing. I was just watching our kids and it made me happy."

Killian: "Yeah. They're adorable. I love them too."

Emma: "Its more than that. I just thought about them seeming so happy. That makes me happy."

Killian: "I know how you feel. I'm also glad, that they're happy. We never had that and I wouldn't wish our childhood on them."

A single tear slipped out of my eyes. It wasn't because I'm sad though. I just get very emotional when I'm around my true love.

There are multiple moments it happened. For example when he told me, that I'm his happy ending. Or when he proposed to me a second time and promised to always be by my side, which was exactly what I needed to hear after so many people abandoned me.

Emma: "I love you so much."

Killan: "I love you too."

We kissed again, this time it was more passionate, until my dad cleared his throat.

David: "Get a room."

Killian: "Oh, we will, mate. Later. Don't worry."

I playfully hit his chest, but we both know that I don't mean it. We both crack up laughing.

David: "Too much information. Also I take it back."

My mom rolled her eyes at that and now it was her time to playfully hit her true love. My dad seemed offended by it, but we know, that he could never be mad at my mom. He's just joking.

David: "What?! I'm just protecting her, Snow. She's our little baby after all. Why don't you move back into the loft with us, Emma? I think that's a great idea."

Emma: "Oh. Really? What do you think, babe? Wouldn't it be nice to live in a loft with seven people? Nine at the moment?"

Killian: "Sorry, mate, but I think we have to say no. But we could always visit whenever we're not busy."

David glared at him. If I wouldn't be sure, that he really loves Killy, I'd be worried that my dad would kill him. Again.

After all Captain Hook isn't so good at surviving after all even though he says it on a daily basis.

 


	20. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in 3x10 The New Neverland

**Emma's POV**

Earlier I was on the beach and thought about my mess of a love life. If you can even call it that since I'm not really in _love_ with anyone.

But then David arrived since he and Mary Margaret realized, that I wasn't on my 'date' with Neal.

They both think, that I should give him another chance, but they don't know the whole story. They think he just left me and Henry. I never told them about the prison part and I don't intend to do so.

After talking a while David convinced me to go to Granny's...to Neal. There we are right now. Precisely in front of Granny's. I get out of my dads car and I instantly hear a scream.

Great. Another crisis.

Then Hook and Tink come running out of Granny's back entrance.

Emma: "What the hell was that?!"

Killian: "We had the same question."

Just then I realize, that Hook and Tink left Granny's at exactly the same time. Were they together there? On purpose? Is there a reason they weren't in the actual diner, but in the back?

I know that I shouldn't care, but I kinda do. I also can't really figure out why it hurts so much to see them together.

Are they together?

Then it hits me...I know why this makes me so angry. I'm not jealous. He really did hurt me.

In Neverland he promised to wait for me and to fight for my heart. Recently he told Neal, that he's going to back off. I didn't believe him though. But now this? What happened? Did he gave up on me that easily?

I need to know what's happening, so I decide to confront them about it. I wouldn't do this, if I weren't desperate for answers. It's not like I'm jealous. I'm Emma Swan and I'm not a jealous person.

Emma: "Wait...were you two...?"

I know it's not my business, but I just have to know if I was wrong about him. He seemed so genuine when he said he's going to win my heart. But maybe I was a fool to believe him a bit.

Maybe I shouldn't have said this though. It's really not my business. It's not like we're together. He can do whatever he wants...with anyone.

I shouldn't be this shocked after all. He's a pirate. And I'm not jealous anyway.

Tink: "No!"

Killian: "Perhaps..."

They say it at exactly the same time. The fairy glares at him for it, so who should I trust? Maybe he just wants me to think there's something between them to Neal's me jealous.

If that's his goal he won't succeed. Not ever.

I would never be jealous because of him. I don't even like him. Our kiss might have been...okay, but it surely won't happen ever again. Would it?

Who am I kidding anyway? I know well enough, that that kiss wasn't just okay. It was mind-blowing and amazing.

No! Why do I even think about all this? I shouldn't waste any more thoughts on Hook. He helped me save me my son from Pan. That's the only reason why I'm thinking of him. Right?

He's my friend after all.

Or do I like him more than that since I can't stop thinking about the pirate?

No. I don't like him. He's just a friend. If he even is a friend at all. Maybe we're just two people who know each other.

He probably doesn't like me either. He flirts with everyone, so why should I feel special? He pretends to live everyone. I should get over it.

We're never going to be together anyway. We don't love each other. And we never will. We just have similar pasts.

And how the hell did my mind end up thinking about love between me and Hook.

Oh god. I'm screwed if I can't stop thinking about this.

Bloddy hell I hate this pirate and what he's doing to me.

 


	21. I Can't Lose You Too

**Emma's POV**

Im leaving Granny's and the first thing I see is Hook, sitting at one of the tables, drinking his rum.

How did I deserve this? I'm trying to avoid him and him sitting that close to me...it's impossible. He will never let me go as soon as he sees me and there's no way in hell, that he won't see me. I have to go past him.

So I just try to act like I'm busy and walk very fast. Maybe he won't bother to stop me or won't run after me.

I try to avoid his face since I don't wanna see his disappointment when he realizes, that I'm once again avoiding him. But still I know, that he's smiling at me.

Killian: "Swan. Don't make a man drink alone!"

"Not in the mood for a drink. Or a man." I say while continuing to walk. I can't get weak. I can't let my emotions get the best of me.

If I will let this relationship...or whatever it is...happen, it'll only end badly. I spare the two of us a lot of heartache by stopping it before it even started.

As soon as I said that, Killian stands up from his seat though and follows me. Why does he have to be so stubborn? Can't he let me go for once? I really don't need this right now.

Killian: "Sorry I didn't listen to you today."

Seriously? He thinks, that that's why I'm avoiding him? Okay it kinda is, but just because it was reminder, that bad things tend to happen to the people I date.

Killian: "I know you feel like you got the weight of the world on your shoulders. But at some point even though we're quite different you've gotta trust me."

He runs after me and takes my arm with his Hook, turning me around to him.

Emma: "That's what you think this is about? That I don't trust you?"

Killian: "That's not what it's about?"

Emma: "Of course I trust you."

Tears were forming in my eyes by now because I knew, that soon I had to tell him the truth. I hurt to speak about it though, so I hoped, that I could avoid it.

Why am I so emotional around him anyway? It's not fair. I usually never cry, but whenever he's there I can't seem to stop myself. Maybe it's because I know, that he would never judge. Maybe it's because I feel safe with him. I don't know.

Killian: "Then why do you keep pulling away from me?"

Oh no. He looks so hurt. That was never my intention. He probably thinks, this is his fault.

Emma: "Because everyone I've ever been with is dead...I lost everyone...I-I can't lose you, too."

He looks at me with a face full of adoration, happiness, but also sadness.

Killian: "My love, you don't have to worry about me. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's surviving."

There was a flicker of a smile on my face. I said I trusted him and I didn't lie. I do believe him. I want to believe him since I really don't think I can live without him anymore. He's become a too important part of my life.

Now he looks at me so hard, that I'm afraid he's gonna drill a hole in my head, but then suddenly he invades my personal space, pulling me close to him and connecting our lips.

We stand there in the middle of Main Street for quite a while, making out until short breath pauses aren't enough anymore, so we have to pull away, but still keep out foreheads and noses connected.

I look up at him and our faces are mirroring each other's. We both have the biggest smiles on them.

Killian: "You won't lose me, Swan."

Emma: "Good. Because I don't intend to let you go ever again."

He smiled even brighter now, if that's even possible and connected our lips once more.

 


	22. Please Remember

Henry Mills suddenly woke up in his room at Emma and Killian's house.The last thing he remembered was being at the wedding and the BlackFairy's curse interrupting it. He felt really bad for his mom then.He always just wanted her to be happy, but whenever she is somevillain destroys it.

 

And there's no denying that Emma was happy yesterday. She had thebrightest smile on her face, that Henry has ever seen. She was alsosinging while she danced with his stepfather. Henry had never heardhis mother sing except for when she fought the Black Fairy. But thatwas different. She had to sing then. At the wedding it was out oftrue happiness.

 

Generally speaking Henry is very happy, that his mom met Killian andthat she found her family. He doesn't really have regrets when itcomes to fnding her all those years ago. He knows, that she willdefeat the Black Fairy. She is the savior after all. A hero. And goodalways wins.

 

Then it hit Henry.

 

The Black Fairy had cursed them. He should probably get up and searchthe rest of his family instead of lying in bed and thinking aboutthem. So he quickly threw on some clothes and headed downstairs.

 

When he was downstairs he was very surprised though. There wassomeone in their kitchen. Someone Henry doesn't know. He approachedthe middle aged woman and she was smiling at him. "Good morning,sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

 

Henry: "Who are you?"

 

Mara: "Henry, sweetie, are you okay? You're kidding right? I'm yourmother."

 

Henry: "No you're not. My mother is Emma Swan and my adoptivemother is Regina Mills."

 

Mara: "No, Henry. I'm your adoptive mother. These two women haven'tbeen in your life for five years. Your birth mother is crazy and inthe mental hospital and I the other is in the prison of Bostonbecause she poisoned you."

 

Henry couldn't believe this. He had to find his family. His evilgreat-grandmother is probably planning something awful. She separatedhis mother from probably all her loved ones. Henry hopes, that he canfind his grandparents and Hook. He'll do that now and after thathe'll visit his mom to make sure she knows, that she's not crazy.

 

She probably knows that herself. The Black Fairy just wants everyoneelse to think Emma is crazy, so that no one would even attempt tohelp her our of the madhouse.

 

...

 

Henry is now at Granny's. He's been everywhere in town, searching forhis family, but unluckily he hasn't found anyone. He's all alone herewith his mom and she's in a mental hospital. He has to break her outsomehow.

 

And to complicate his plans even more...everyone seems to have thesame messed up memories as his 'adoptive mother'. Henry tried talkingto several people...the dwarfs, Granny, Marco...but no one could helphim. They all think his mom is crazy and the other one is so evil,that she tried to kill her own son. Also the Black Fairy seems to bethe new mayor.

 

So Henry decides, that visiting his mom is the best plan for now.

 

As he arrives at the mental hospital of Storybrooke, that he didn'teven now existed, he speak to this weird woman who used to work forhis other mother under the hospital. The cleaning guy is here too.She gets his mom for him.

 

When he sees her he can't help but be relieved. He hugs her tight andthey sit down to talk. That meeting isn't really successful though.His mom doesn't remember the past five years either. She doesn'tremember their family. She thinks he's crazy once again.

 

 

_**The next day** _

 

Henry is once again back at the mental hospital. This time he's inhis mom's room, which he might be able to use as his advantage. Hereisn't any hospital personnel after all.

 

Emma looks surprised as he enters the room.

 

Emma: "Second day in a row, kid. You usually just visit me once aweek or even less..."

 

Henry: "I just wanna spend time with you. I love you."

 

Emma: "I love you too, kid, but you shouldn't even bring that bookof yours. I'm finally making progress. You can't take that away fromme. They might let me out soon. At least that's what Dr. Hopper said.Then I can finally be your mother."

 

Henry: "You aren't making any progress, mom. There's nothing youshould forget. My book is real. You used to believe in it too, butthe Black Fairy made you forget the last five years."

 

Emma: "Can you cut it with the book crap? Do you know what yousound like, Henry? It's...crazy. I thought you'd be over this by now.You aren't that small 10-year old anymore. Your obsession with thisbook nearly killed you..."

 

A few tears were streaming down her face and her voice broke longbefore that.

 

Henry can feel, that she wants to believe in him, but there'ssomething holding her back. There are no walls in the way. Otherwiseshe wouldn't be vulnerable. Not even when just her son is around. Sowhat the hell did the Black Fairy do to her? Henry needs to find out.But how?

 

Henry: "You have to believe me, mom. I know it's hard and it's alot to ask someone to believe in, but every story in this bookactually happened. You are in this book."

 

He opened it and luckily there was still the bookmark in the pageabout his mom. She put it in there when Hook died. Henry knows, thatshe always used to look at it during the time. But only when shethought nobody was looking. She wasn't ready to admit just how muchshe missed him.

 

Henry showed the picture to Emma and for a second it seemed like shemight reach out to touch Killian, but she didn't.

 

Henry: "That's you and Captain Hook. You were in love before theBlack Fairy cast her curse. It was actually your wedding day when ithappened. She knew how much it would hurt you to be separated fromhim shorty after marrying him."

 

Emma shook her head slightly and looked up to Henry with more tearstrapped in her eyes.

 

Emma: "Henry...I'm not in any book and I'm sure as hell not marriedto Captain Hook."

 

Henry: "But you love each other!"

 

Emma: "No. We don't because firstly I don't do love and secondlyhe's not real."

 

 

_**The next day...** _

 

Henry was back at the reception of the mental hospital. He's beenthere the past two days for as long as the visiting hours allowed it,trying to convince his mother, that fairytales are real. It didn'twork out well both times, but he refuses to give up on her. You justdon't give up on family. He knows, that the rest of his family istrying just as hard from wherever they are.

 

Henry: "So I hoped, that I could take my mom for a walk today. It'sso nice weather and I thought it might be good for her progress tosee, that there are no magical creatures or curses..."

 

All Henry could hope for is, that these people aren't walking lyingdetectors like his mom. Henry wasn't the greatest liar, but somethings he could manage perfectly fine. Especially in thesesituations.

 

Nurse: "I think, that's alright. She's also been taking walksaround the garden recently. It might be good indeed."

 

 

So that's how Henry and Emma ended up on the rooftop, on which thewedding happened. Henry hoped it might jog her memory, but he waswrong, so he's once again trying to convince her by showing her hisbook.

 

When he thought he was finally going crazy because she seemed to beeven more of a non-believer than during the first curse somethingamazing happened though.

 

A portal opened and it revealed their family. They have found them.

 

Emma: "What the hell was that?!"

 

Henry: "A portal. Magic. Our family is back. Your parents SnowWhite and Prince Charming, your husband Captain Hook and my othermother Regina..."

 

Emma: "So you're all crazy? Not just my son?"

 

Henry: "Do you have something to jog her memory? She doesn'tremember the past 5 years."

 

Regina: "Yeah. We know. We watched you guys through a mirror. SoCaptain Guyliner and Prince Uncharming climbed the beanstalk to findthis..."

 

She held a true love magic baby little tree thing in her hand. Henrysmiled.

 

Henry: "Dad, take it. You both have to hold it and then she shouldremember everything."

 

He smiled with a shock on his face because of the nickname and thendid as Henry said.

 

Pictures flashed before Emma's eyes... _The beanstalk. Killianturning his ship around for her. Neverland. Leaving him at the townline. Saving his life when Zelena almost killed him. Theirtime-travel adventure. Him trading his ship for her. Their firstdate. The first 'I Love You'...Basically everything, that everhappened between them._

 

When the flashes stopped Emma looked up at Killian and a big smileappears on her face.

 

Emma: "Killian?"  
  


He realizes, that she remembers him, which makes him smile just asmuch. A few seconds after he hugs her tight.

 

Killian: "Swan. Did you miss me?"

 

Emma: "No..."

 

As she starts that his face falls. He seems very disappointed andsad, but then Emma continues her sentence.

 

Emma: "...it's not Swan anymore. It's Jones now."

 

That makes him chuckle and hug her again. During the hug he lifts herup the ground and that can symbolize her happiness. She feels likeshe's on top of the world and luckily this is only the beginning.They will defeat the Black Fairy after all since she lacks one of themost important things...LOVE.

 

This is their happy beginning.

 


	23. I Loved You

**Emma's POV**

"Do you love me? If you tell me you don't love me, I will let you go..."

I stared at Killian with big eyes, awaiting his answer even though I already know it. Otherwise it wouldn't take him so long to answer.

"I loved you."

Past tense.

Knowing that something will happen and the moment it actually happens are two completely different things. I knew he would say this, but that didn't prevent me from hurting now.

His words sting like a dagger through my heart. I already feel the tears burning in my eyes, threatening to fall down my cheeks. I have to get out of here. Now.

I can't let him see, that this hurts me. He has to think, that I'm evil and heartless. That's the only way I can keep him and everyone else from the truth.

They can never find out what I did. No one would ever forgive me. They wouldn't understand. They would blame me for turning Killian into a Dark One. Especially Killian himself. I made him the thing he hates most after all.

But it was the only way.

That thought brings back so many memories of that awful day. It made me wanna scream.

I took a deep breath and said, "The ship's all yours.", trying to sound cold and uncaring. The I vanished into a dark cloud.

As soon as I got home, I lay on the couch, letting all the tears I held back stream down my cheeks.

I had lost Killian...Again. And this time, I fear, it's for good.

 


	24. Dreaming

**Emma's POV**

I am slowly awoken up by the sun, which is shining into my face. I'm kinda disappointed to wake up. I had a really nice dream tonight.

I push the covers away to get up and while I do, I hear metal crashing to the floor. I quickly look and see a sword lying next to my bed.

It is big and has a red diamond on it. Why the hell was this thing in my bed? Did someone try to kill me in my sleep? On my birthday? That's weird. What the hell is happening?

...

Later I blow out the candle on my birthday cake. It is shaped like a Star as usual. I don't even know why, but I think it's because I'm like a shining star to my parents. They love me a lot and I love them too.

"Happy Birthday." Says every citizen in the room, including my parents. Then everyone started clapping for me and I smiled lightly at them.

After the clapping faded, Grumpy the dwarf starts talking. "So what did you wish for, princess?"

Emma: "Not a thing. Everything I could ever want is right here."

I say that, but it's a lie.

Just yesterday that statement would've been completely true, but not after the dream I had last night. I would never tell anyone though, what I really desire.

Especially not my parents.

What I really want is a certain person, which I want to have in my life. Someone from my dream, that I don't know though. Nothing in this dream was the same.

We were all in a town called Storybrooke because Regina, who's actually dead, cursed everyone from the Enchanted Forest to get revenge on my mother.

In the dream my parents gave me up and my childhood was miserable, but all that changed when my son Henry brought me to Storybrooke to break the curse. I was reunited with my family and along the way I fell in love. That's the thing I want for my life. I have anything else, but true love.

I never really wanted to have a relationship until now because I never knew I needed it, but now that I felt what it's like to be in love, I want it. I want my Killian. I don't even care, that he's a pirate.

My dad would care though. He hates pirates more than anything in the world and my mom agrees with anything dad says. They would want to protect me even though I don't need protection from Killian. He would never hurt me.

My parents want me to marry a prince. Or someone rich at least, which doesn't make sense since my dad was shepherd and they married out of love.

But I guess not everything in life makes sense all the time.

Maybe I should just avoid marrying anyone at all, now that I at least have memories of mine and Killian's life.

We were very happy in this Storybrooke even though it was never easy, but I guess that if true love was easy, we'd all have it.

 


	25. Did You Miss Me?

**Emmas POV**

Me and my son Henry were just living a simple and uncomplicated life until I met Walsh at a furniture shop. We started dating eight months ago and yesterday he proposed to me.

I don't know what to do...it would be cruel to say no. Even Henry thinks so and he's eleven years old. He shouldn't give me relationship advice.

But I can't bring myself to simply say 'yes' either. We don't even know each other for that long. How am I supposed to know, if marrying Walsh is the right thing to do?

I do like him and I don't wanna hurt him, but I don't know, if I can trust him. He could be just as bad as Neal. He could end up breaking my heart, so I shouldn't give it to him to begin with.

How can I make a decision about our future, if I don't even trust him?

And to complicate things even more...I currently have a stalker.

He stood in front of my door yesterday morning and talked about crazy stuff. Then suddenly he kissed me.

And I actually liked it.

What's even worse is, that I actually considered kissing him back for a second. I never acted like that. I can't. I have Walsh after all and Henry was just in the next room. He could've walked in on us.

When this guy continued following me and sent me to Neal's place, I realized how screwed I was. Because I actually felt like I know him or that I can trust him, which I shouldn't since he's associated with Neal.

So that's why I solved the problem. I sent him to jail for assault. Because I began to trust him and I can't trust anyone.

Trust is the worst thing in the world. When you trust someone, you only get disappointed and hurt.

That's why I don't believe in it. I believe in prove, so I printed the pictures from the camera I found at Neal's place. The camera with Henry's name on it.

I'll look at them, but Henry can't be here for that.

Emma: "Crap. I forgot something. You can go in already. I'll be there soon."

So a few seconds later Henry raced up to our apartment. He was probably eager to get back to his video game.

When I looked at the photos I got shocked though. What the hell?! There were pictures of me and Henry in front of a sigh, which read 'Storybrooke.'

That's impossible. I've never been in a place called Storybrooke. Also Neal can't know of Henry's existence. I never told him and we don't have common friends.

I need to get my stalker out of prison again. He has to explain this to me. There must be a logical explanation.

So I go to the station without checking up on Henry first. He probably won't even notice, that I'm gone. Whenever he's playing his video games, it's like he's in a different world. You can talk to him without him realizing that.

As soon as I'm at the police station I walk to an officer.

Emma: "Hey. I'm Emma Swan. I called the police earlier today because I thought I have a stalker, which isn't the case though. It was all a big misunderstanding. You can let the guy out..."

Officer: "Im afraid I can't do that, Miss. He was arrested after all. If you want him out of here, you'll have to post bail."

Damn. I didn't exactly plan to pay anything for the crazy guy, but he's also the only person, that has the answers I need right now. I depend on him. I have no choice, but to bail him out. So I give the officer the money and go out of the police station again, waiting for the 'pirate,' or whatever he thinks he is.

It didn't take long. He exited the station only a few minutes after me and as soon as he saw me, he approached me.

Killian: "Swan. I knew you wouldn't let me rot in that place. I knew you'd remember me. I should've brought you to that apartment in the first place..."

Emma: "Do you know how you sound like? You should be in a mental institute. Neal surely knows how to pick his friends. They're all just as crazy and dumb as him. What does he want from me anyway? How does he know about Henry?"

Killian: "Im not here because of Neal. I was simply trying to jog your memory, so I thought, that the apartment of your true love might do just that..."

He looked to the ground. His confidence fading in a matter of milliseconds. He seemed truly sad and broken. But why? Does he hate Neal just as much as I do? Is he not here voluntarily? I wouldn't put torture or blackmail past Neal. He's a jerk, who's unpredictable. I'd know.

Killian: "And obviously it worked. Otherwise I'd still be in that awful place. They tried to force fed me something called bologna. It was gross..."

Emma: "Well I got you out of there because I have questions. You didn't answer any of them yet. So if you don't wanna go back to prison, you better start telling me what the hell is going on..."

Killian: "Its like I said, love. I'm here because there was another curse. Your parents and everyone else might be in big danger. You have to safe them."

Emma: "The truth now please. Life isn't a fairy tale."

He looked up again very fast. Shock was written all over his face.

Killian: "Wait! You don't remember? It didn't work..."

Emma: "I don't have time for your delusions. Can you please tell me what's going on? I won't bother you ever again. Just tell me. Please."

He took something out of his pocket. It was the blue vial, that he wanted me to drink earlier. And that's what he did once again. Promising that the vial will change everything. That it'll make me remember something...

The bad thing about this is, that I do want to drink the vial. Somehow I trust him and it terrifies me. I really shouldn't do this. For all I know it could be poison. He's a stranger after all. And he knows Neal....what if he wants me dead. I can't just die. Henry needs me. I'm all he has since his dads a jerk.

Emma: "How do I know, that you're not trying to poison me?"

Killian: "You can't know that. I guess you just have to take a leap of faith..."

Something about that quote or the way he said it, sounds awfully familiar.

I then make the mistake of staring into his incredible blue eyes and I get lost in them. It's like we're the only two people in the world while we stare into each other's eyes even though we're in the middle of a busy street in New York.

And suddenly not just what he said, but also his eyes seem damn familiar to me. Without even realizing what I do, I reach out my hand and take the vial from him. Before putting it to my lips, I look to him once last time. He gives me a short, encouraging nod and I drink the liquid of the vial in one go.

Suddenly there are a lot of pictures in front of my eyes and I remember everything Pan's curse made me forget.

My parents.

Storybrooke.

Giving up Henry and him showing up at my doorstep.

Breaking the first curse.

Countless adventures.

And Killian...

I don't let it show, that I remember since I'm so overwhelmed by the flood of memories and Killian looks at me with a worried expression. He's probably afraid, that it didn't work. That I'll never remember.

Emma: "Hook."

His face then lights up like a Christmas tree and I can once again see how much I mean to him. Even if I would never really admit that.

I don't give him any time to process this because as soon as his name leaves my lips, I take a few steps forward and fall around his neck, hugging him tightly. It only takes him a few seconds to return the favor.

I know we have a lot to talk about and a new villain to face, but all that doesn't matter at the moment. It's enough right now to just stand here in his arms. I don't even care that we're in the middle of a busy street. His arms around me make me feel safe.

I never realized, that I could miss him this much.

 


	26. Uncertainty

Killian Jones wasn't usually drinking out of nervousness. He's never actually panicking about anything in his life...until now.

The pirate has been sitting at Granny's since this morning, drinking rum. Granny brought him food for lunch, but he still hasn't touched it and it's already dinner time.

Killian was too distracted by his nerves to even notice, that there was food in front of him. He just couldn't stop thinking about the last 24 hours.

They've been one hell of a roller coaster ride.

Yesterday at this time everything in his life was perfect. He spend the day with David and helped him figure out what happened to his friends father. When they were ready with that, he asked David for Emma's hand in marriage.

Surprisingly the prince gave the pirate his blessing to marry the princess.

As Killian was on his way home to Emma and Henry, he couldn't stop thinking about how lucky he is. He was full of hope and planning the perfect proposal for Emma. That seemed very tricky to him since he really wanted it to be 'perfect.' Emma deserves nothing less than that.

But as soon as he reached his home, all his happiness and hope was taken from him. August arrived with his motorcycle and gave him pages from the storybook, that he once stole from Henry. The pages told the story of Davids father and as soon as Killian saw the illustrations on the pages, he realized, that King George didn't kill David's father after all. Killian did.

So he didn't just destroy his own family, he also destroyed the family of his true love. He doesn't know how to deal with that information. He knows, that Emma deserves to know the truth, but he's afraid. He never wants to lose her.

But when she finds out, she might leave him.

Killian finishes his latest glass of rum and walks home.

His Swan deserves the truth and if the truth will tear them apart, then so be it. But Killian just can't lie to her anymore. It's hurting him too much.

  
As soon as Killian enters his and Emma's home he calls for her and she instantly runs down the stairs and into his arms to welcome him home with a sweet kiss. It's as if she had been sitting on the top of the stairs, waiting for him to come home.

As she pulls away enough to look at him, she smirks at him.

Emma: "Oh, wow. Captain Morgan. I thought we were switching to water."

She says it in a teasing tone with a big smile on her face, but it still pains Killian when he realizes, that he let her down in more than one way, but he instantly pushes that thought from his mind. He can't get distracted. It would only end up in him not telling her the truth, which he doesn't want.

Killian: "I'm afraid it wouldn't give me the courage that I need. There's something I need to tell you."

He looks at her and she gives him a small encouraging nod even though he realized, that she is a little worried.

For a moment he doesn't continue to speak. He just stares at her, which gives him the strength to continue. This is hard for him, but he loves her, so it makes it a little easier.

Killian: "Its just...what I have to say isn't exactly easy. And I'm not entirely sure how you're going to react."

He doesn't know what exactly he did, but her face softens and there's a little smile on her face. She takes his hand and squeezes it. She doesn't say anything though. They don't really need words to communicate, so Killian knows, that she's waiting for him to continue talking.

He takes a deep breath and leads them to the couch. This is very hard for him and he's afraid, that he might pass out any second. There are many confusing thoughts in his head of basically any reaction Emma could have.

They sit next to each other. And Emma puts both her hands on his hand.

Emma: "You can tell me anything. I love you no matter what."

There's still a smile on her face and Killian is still very confused about it. Why does his Swan seem so happy right now? What happened?

Did Dave tell Snow about yesterday? Killian thinks to himself. Then Emma might know about the ring and she might think I'm going to propose right now, which I'm not. It's not like Snow can keep a secret.

Killian takes another deep breath and then looks deeply into his Swans eyes.

Killian: "There's something I recently found out about my past...and I'm not proud of it."

Emma's smile fades and she seems disappointed. But why? What did she expect this conversation to be about? Did she really think he would propose here? Right now?

Emma: "Killian, I know there are a lot of things in your past, that you regret. But you don't need to worry about any of them. They're in the past and you're a changed man now. A hero. My hero. But if it makes you feel better to talk about it, I can help you..."

Killian: "Sure it was a long time ago, but this time I think I really messed up...terribly."

Emma: "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. And it's in the past as I said. You can forgive yourself."

Killian: "I don't think, that I'll ever be able to forgive myself for this..."

Emma: "Why? What could possibly be that bad?"

She puts a hand on his cheek and looks at him through the tears in her eyes. She doesn't like it when he's blaming himself for his past. She forgives him for it, so why can't he do the same? Why can't he see himself the way she does?

Killian: "I won't forgive myself for this because it's different than my other sins. I...I killed....your...grandfather."

Emma: "What?"

Killian: "Yesterday I helped your father figure out what happened to his father. He didn't wanna involve you since he didn't wanna worry you. We investigated it and it lead us to King George. But we also asked your friend August for help, so he brought me some pages of the storybook, that he took from Henry years ago and I realized, that I knew the man on the pictures. King George didn't kill your grandfather. I did."

There was a long silence in the room. It was shaking Killian confidence. He just assumed, that Emma won't forgive him for this, so he slowly got up from the couch and gave her hand a light squeeze.

Killian: "I'm sorry, love."

Then he began to leave the living room, but the Savior ran after him.

Emma: "Where are you going?"

Killian turned around to face her and stopped moving. There were tears in both of their eyes.

Killian: "I was going to get my things from our room."

Emma: "Why? Are you...moving out?"

A single tear streamed down her face and others followed soon.

Killian: "Its for the best, Swan. I'm a awful person. You shouldn't ever forgive me. I don't deserve you."

Emma: "I think that's my decision and not yours..."

She steps closer to him and puts her arms around his neck, looking him deeply into the eyes.

Emma: "And I don't need time to forgive you. I already do. You're obviously sad about this, so you're not a villain. Villains don't regret anything. It was a long time ago. I never even knew him, so I won't let him take you from me. I need you. You once said, that every sin can be forgiven, when someone loves you and I do. I love you. And I forgive you. Also I really appreciate, that you were honest to me. I can't lose you, Killian. So if you want to move out, fine, but then I'll move out with you."

She leans in and touches their noses together.

Killian: "I love you too and I'd never wanna lose you either, but how could you possibly forgive me? I destroyed your family."

Emma: "You didn't destroy my whole family. I won't lose you for someone I don't know. David might not agree with my decision, but I don't care. Sometimes I need to be selfish, I guess. Don't leave. Stay here with me."

Killian pulls her body even closer to his and embraces her tightly. He's glad that she's okay with this. He might think, that she deserves better than the murderer of her grandfather, but that doesn't mean, that he'd ever want to lose her.

He already hates himself a lot for killing Davids father, but he knows, that he'd hate himself even more if it would have cost him Emma. He loves her more than anything in the world and he never wants to lose that. Never.

Killian: "As you wish."

Emma chuckles lightly and there's been this question in Killian's head for a long time now. He can't keep himself from asking anymore.

Killian: "Why do you always seem so happy when I say that, love?"

Emma: "Because you're quoting my favorite movie, The Princess Bride. So it means a lot to me. I know it sounds kinda silly."

He shakes his head and puts his hand on her cheek, smiling brightly at his true love.

Killian: "Its not silly at all, love. You could never be silly. I think it's adorable, that that makes you happy."

Emma: "Now you're acting kinda cheesy, but I must say, that it doesn't even bother me. I love you. No matter what."

She stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips softly to his.

Killian: "Why were you so radiant when I arrived?"

Emma blushes lightly at that and she quickly looks down to the ground, but Killian soon puts his hand on her chin to make her look at him again. His Swan looks just as happy as when he arrived home.

Emma: "I just-I thought, that you were so nervous because of something else."

Killian: "About what, love?"

He looks at her with a confused expression on his face and he realizes, that Emma is currently deciding whether she should tell him or not. What could it possibly be?

Emma: "I-I might've found something in your sea chest, that I shouldn't have..."

Killian knows by now about what his Swan is talking about. He also knows it's probably not the right time to propose, but he doesn't stop her, when she suddenly pulls something out of the pocket of her jeans. He looks down at the ring, that he meant to give to her. It was his mothers.

Emma: "Are you mad at me?"

His Swans voice is barely a whisper and that totally breaks Killian's heart since she suddenly seems sad. It's all his fault because he stared too long at the ring in her hands, frozen in place.

He shakes his head madly and answers her, while he still looks at the ring.

Killian: "No. How could I ever be mad at you?"

It wasn't actually a question, but a truth. He could never be mad at his Swan. Even when she didn't tell him about her visions. There was always a part of him, that understood her.

He wasn't mad at her then anyway. He was mad at her vision. He was angry, that his true love was going to die.

When Killian finished his answer he looked her into the eyes again since he was finally brave enough to do so.

She still seemed happy even though there were tears in her eyes. He didn't know whether it were tears of pain or joy.

Might she be mad about the ring? Maybe I'm going too fast. Maybe I should've waited a while longer.

Emma wasn't mad or sad about the ring though. She was quite happy when she found it. She wants their future together more than anything in the world.

Emma: "Its just you and me. No walls. No secrets."

There were even more tears in Emma's eyes now and she smiled brightly at Killian before placing the ring in his hand.

Emma: "I know I ruined the surprise. But what do you say?"

Killian knows this isn't the right time nor the right place to propose to his princess, but he couldn't help it. There was so much hope and joy in his Swans eyes. He didn't wanna take any of that away from her.

So he went down on one knee and looked up at his true love with a smile.

Killian: "I know this is probably not the best time or the right place to do this, but who cares? We've never really been traditional."

It's true. Emma thinks. We haven't even been on a second date yet and he's already proposing.

The Savior laughs at that thought, which earns her a bright smile from her pirate.

Killian: "I just can't wait any longer. I've honestly known you were the one when we climbed that beanstalk. I just didn't really admit it to myself back then and you weren't the nicest person to me. I mean you did kinda hold a knife to my throats and left me on the beanstalk. But that's probably what true loves about. I remember your father telling me, that your mother hit him with a rock when they met, so I think we're fine.   
Emma Swan, you've done what I never thought anyone could do. You changed me back to the person I once was before my brother died. You made me believe in love again and you didn't just let me love you, you also loved me in return. You make me wanna be the best version of myself and I love you for that.   
Of course it's not the only reason I love you, but that's probably a story for another day. If I were to tell you all the reasons I love you, we'd never leave this house, which wouldn't be a problem for me since I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but it's Storybrooke, so we'd get interrupted anyway.   
So I'll make this quick before Leroy decides to grace us with his grumpy company.   
I know, that you face an uncertain future, but there's one thing, that I want you to be certain of. That I will always, always be by your side. So what do you say, Emma Swan? Will you make me the happiest man in the universe and marry me?"

The tears from Emma's eyes have been streaming down her face throughout the whole speech, but Emma couldn't care less. It's easy for her to be vulnerable around Killian. She's never scared in his presence. Except for his life since he isn't that much of a survivor after all.

Emma kneels down in front of Killian to look him in the eyes and puts both her hands on each side of his face.

Emma: "Yes. Killian. Yes."

They both have the biggest smiles on their faces and share a long, passionate kiss. After their kiss Killian slips the ring on her finger and they share another kiss, while heading to their bedroom to celebrate their engagement.


	27. Surprise

**Killian’s POV**

 

I awoke due to the sunlight shining into my eyes. That is something new, actually. Normally I wake up very early in the morning, which Emma isn’t too fond of even though I know she still loves me. She always would.

Otherwise she wouldn’t have married me years ago. To be exact 1096 days since today is the 5th May 2020, also known as mine and Emma’s three-year anniversary.

Speaking of my beautiful wife, it’s nice, that I can actually wake her up today without feeling bad about it since it’s pretty late anyway. She won’t complain.

So, I stretch out my arm without opening my eyes, only to realize, that the other side of the bed is empty. I open my eyes and panic. Emma isn’t lying next to me, so, where is she? Is she okay?

Normally I wake up with my Swan in my arms.

I quickly jump out of our bed and run out of our bedroom, shouting her name multiple times with a lot worry in my voice.

As I run towards the stairs, I hear the bathroom door open and Emma softly saying my name.

Emma: “Killian? Is everything alright?”

I exhale loudly and run to my Swan, instantly throwing my arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. I kiss her head multiple times.

Emma: “Did I miss something?”

Killian: “No, my love. I was just worried about you. You weren’t next to me when I woke up and just because Storybrooke has been peaceful the last three years, doesn’t mean it’s a safe place.”

She smiles softly and puts her hands on either side of my face.

Emma: “You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

Killian: “I know.”

We share a soft, but passionate, kiss, while I pull her even closer to me. As we pull away I see a bright smile on my wifey’s face, which makes me want to kiss her cheeks, so I do exactly that multiple times. Emma is just giggling at that.

Killian: “Happy anniversary by the way. I love you.”

She pecks my lips shortly, not breaking her smile for a second.

Sometimes I still don’t know how I deserve her. She’s such an angel. When we met she was so guarded and closed off. I never saw her smile and now she’s constantly smiling and laughing. It makes me love her even more than I already do. If that’s possible.

Emma: “Happy anniversary. I love you too. So much.”

I kiss her once more while I sweep her off her feet and carry her down to the kitchen in bridal style.

Emma: “What exactly are you doing?”

She giggles once again and the sound of it warms my heart. She seems happier today than usual. Did I miss something?

When we reach the kitchen, I set her down on the kitchen counter and go to the fridge to retrieve the cinnamon pancake dough, that Dave and I prepared yesterday. I wanted to make something special today for my Swan.

Actually, the plan was to wake her with the food, but as she’s woken up before me, I had to change my plan.

I take a pan and start to make the pancakes.

Emma: “Well aren’t you full of surprises today. First you sleep in and then you learned how to cook. I’m impressed.”

Killian: “I’d do anything for you, my love.”

Her smile widens and I lean close to her to kiss her softly.

 

When the first pancake is ready I give it to my Swan with another sweet kiss.

Emma: “Thanks. I’m actually starving.”

 

Obviously, Emma wasn’t kidding when she said, that she’s hungry since she ate a lot of pancakes. Maybe I should have made even more dough and prepared her a breakfast as big as Dave makes it for her sometimes. But I didn’t think it was necessary because she always mocks him for it.

Emma then jumps down from the counter and puts her arms around me, embracing me tightly, while she puts her face in the crook of my neck, kissing me softly.

Emma: “Thanks. Now I’ll just have to give you your present.”

Killian: “You haven’t gotten yours yet either, my love. The pancakes don’t count as a present.”

Emma: “Well I don’t care. I can’t wait any longer.”

She takes my hand and pulls me up the stairs with her. There we go into our bathroom and she hands me a little stick with an even bigger smile on her face. I watch the weird stick curiously. I’m really confused right now, I have to admit. What is this stick? Is it some kind of wand? But I don’t have magic, so why would Emma give me a magical object? It doesn’t make sense.

Killian: “It’s nice, but what exactly is it? Some kind of magic?”

Emma: “You know, the stick isn’t actually your present. It’s just a symbol for it, but I guess you could call it magic.”

I look away from the stick to my wife and smile at her confused. What the hell is happening? Is Swan alright? First, she got up earlier than me, then she ate a lot more pancakes than usual and now this weird stick? She’s full of surprises today.

Killian: “A symbol for what?”

Emma: “I’m pregnant. And this little stick proves it. It’s like a test…”

Killian: “You’re with child? We’re having a baby?”

She smiles brightly and nods, but then her expression turns into worry.

What is happening? Is she alright?

Emma: “Are you…okay with that?”

I exhale a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding. So, she is fine after all. She’s just worried, that I don’t want our child, but there’s no need for her to worry.

There’s nothing in the world, that I could want more than a family with my Emma. I love them so much.

Also, I know how happy she is about this. She misses Henry terribly. Also, she deserves a second chance to raise her baby since she missed out on it with Henry.

Killian: “I’m more than okay with it, Swan. I’m thrilled.”

Her bright smile returns once again and tears of joy run down her cheeks. I kiss each of them away, before hugging her tightly and lifting her of the ground, spinning her around.

I probably have the most stupid smile on my face, which seems too bright, but I don’t care. Nothing and no one could ever change it right now. I’m too happy to smile less.

As soon as I put her back onto the ground, I go on my knees and put my head on her stomach, while trying to hug it at the same time.

Killian: “I love you so much, my little love. I can’t wait to meet you.”


	28. Honestly and Comfort

**Emma's POV**

Mary Margret: "People of Storybrooke, it's our great joy to introduce you to our son, Prince Neal."

What?! She didn't just say Neal, did she? How could they name my brother after that idiot?! How can they hurt me that much? I already felt unloved because of the way my mother announced she wanted another baby in Neverland as her darkest secret.

I was never enough for my mother and now she names her son after my ex, who sent me to jail?! That sure sends a message.

I get up and leave Granny's and the cheering of Storybrooke's citizens. My mother doesn't even notice since she's cuddling with my baby brother.

Maybe I shouldn't have left though because Hook is sitting in front of the small diner, drinking his rum and seeming as sad as usual. I approach him and sit down next to him.

Killian: "Swan? For what do I owe the pleasure?"

Emma: "You seem upset, which is very relatable to me right now. Why not be miserable together?"

Worry appears on his face and he stares deeply into my eyes. I never realized just how light blue his eyes shine when he's sad or worried. It's amazingly beautiful. He's so gorgeous it actually hurts.

Killian: "What happened, Swan? You were fine a few minutes ago. Do you want to move back to New York once again?"

So that's why he's worried. He just doesn't want me to move away. For a minute I actually thought, that he was genuinely caring about my well-being.

Emma: "No, it's not that. This is my home. It's because of my parents. They named my brother after Neal, which I don't agree with."

Killian: "So you didn't love him?"

Emma: "No. I actually wished, that it was one of Pan's tricks, when you told us he was still alive. I wished he was dead and I know that makes me a very bad person, but I can't help it. I never forgave him for what he did to me and I never will. My brother will only remind me of him now and I hate that. It's too painful. It also proves just how much my mother hates me."

Killian: "She doesn't hate you and not forgiving him doesn't make you a bad person, Swan. You're great and amazing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Emma: "Thanks. Even if you're the only person to think so."

Killian: "That's not true, Swan. You're adored in this town. No one hates you and you shouldn't hate yourself so much."

Emma: "I don't hate myself."

Killian: "Maybe, but you're still punishing yourself a lot. You always feel guilty. You don't have to do that, you know? You don't always have to sacrifice everything for the people. You need to be happy too, so go in there and tell your parents to change the name of the little prince."

Emma: "No. It's not that easy. They would only want an explanation and I'm not ready to tell them what happened with Neal."

Killian: "What exactly did he do?"

He can't be serious! He can't believe, that I'd tell him, when I don't even tell my parents. It's not like we're friends or anything.

Emma: "None of your business. We're not even friends, so I don't owe you anything."

His eyes leave mine and he looks down. I can tell, that I hurt him, but I just can't tell him. I'm scared and I don't want to relive it. My walls are once again as high as the Mount Everest.

Killian: "Sorry. I just want to help you, Swan. I hate to see you upset."

Emma: "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap at you. You've been a good friend to me for a long time now. I'm just...scared."

Killian: "Of me? Swan, I'd never hurt you. I promise. You just have to trust me."

Emma: "I do trust you."

Killian: "You do?"

Emma: "Of course. Why else would I let you anywhere near Henry? That trust just isn't enough to tell you because I've been let down too often."

Killian: "There's nothing to be scared off, Swan. Have I ever let you down?"

Emma: "No and that is scary because I don't understand it. Everybody lies, so you could lie right now."

Killian: "Well that's where the trust comes in, love. I'm a good listener and you can see it as a trial. So, you'll know what to say in case you ever decide to tell your parents about what happened."

Is it bad that I'm actually considering it? I shouldn't feel the need to tell someone. Least of all Captain Hook. I've never told anyone, so why do I feel like doing that now? It's been so long ago, so it doesn't really make sense to me.

Emma: "It was a long time ago."

Maybe that'll stop him from wanting to know. I don't really understand why he cares anyway, so it should be easy to change his mind. It's not like I'm important to him at all. Unless this is all a game to him, it should work.

Killian: "That might be true, but this still bothers you, so you should try to move on from it and maybe talking about it helps at that."

Emma: "It doesn't matter, Hook. So, stop asking about it."

His blue eyes turn sad and lighter at that once again. It's so confusing. Why does he pretend to care? He can't possibly care about me at all! No one ever cares about me. Least of all Captain freaking Hook.

Killian: "Don't you realize, that I'm just trying to help. You just have to trust me, Swan. Please. I can't take seeing you so sad."

Emma: "Why?"

Killian: "Because I care about you."

Emma: "No one ever cared about me and no one cares about me right now."

Killian: "I do. Not everyone is like Bae. Not everyone will break your trust and hurt you. I promise"

I laugh softly.

Killian: "What?"

Emma: "Henry once said the exact same thing."

Killian: "Then if you don't listen to me, listen to your boy."

I breathe out shakenly. The truth it, that I'm scared of telling anyone. I don't want to remember it. I just want to forget even though I doubt, that I'll ever do.

Maybe Killian is right. Maybe I need to share my misery with him. He could help since we understand each other so well due to both being orphans and being broken by the cruel world.

Emma: "I don't even know where to start."

Killian: "Just start at the beginning."

He puts his hand on mine and I actually smile softly at him. He must have noticed how scared I am.

Emma: "Neal and I met when I was 16. I just got out of a foster home and was a thief. So, one day I wanted to get far away, which lead me to steal a car. That's how we met because he stole the car before me."

Killian: "You stole a stolen car? That's kind of funny."

It's insane how much we understand each other since I remember thinking the same thing when I found out, that Neal stole the care before me.

Emma: "Yeah. So, we talked and then we were thieves together for a while, kind of. I was dumb enough to fall for him and I thought, that he loved me too, which obviously wasn't case. One day, he decided, that we should stop being thieves and he had lots of stolen watches stored in a locker at a train station, which we could sell. So, he manipulated me into getting them for him. He even gifted me one before he went to sell them. He said I couldn't come along because it's too dangerous and that I should wait for him there. So, I waited and waited. He never arrived, but soon the police arrived because Neal called in an anonymous tip, that I stole the watches and where to find me. They arrested me for his crime and sent me to jail for 11 months. There I found out I was pregnant with Henry, but I was so broken, that I couldn't bear to keep him. I wanted him to have his best chance, which wasn't with me."

Tears stream down my face. I always had my walls build up so high, that I never quite realized how painful this memory is. Killian pulls me into his arms and surprisingly I let him hold me tightly, soothing me. I kind of feel safe in his arms. Like no one can ever hurt me again.

Killian: "I'm so sorry, Swan. You deserve so much better than that idiot. If he wasn't already dead, I'd murder him myself for doing what he did to you. I never pictured him turning out that way, when he was on my ship as a child."

Emma: "He was on your ship?"

Killian: "Yeah. He stayed with me for a while after Milah died."

Emma: "Where is your ship anyway? I haven't seen it in over a year."

Killian: "It's...gone."

Emma: "What? Why? What happened?"

Killian: "Blackbeard has it now. I gave it to him in exchange for something."

It feels like he is hiding something, but what is it?

Emma: "But it's your home. A place where you lived with your brother and Milah. A place, that is capable of reminding you of them. What could possibly be important enough to trade it for?"

Killian: "A magic bean. I had to get to New York someway, didn't I?"

Emma: "What?"

He-He traded his ship for me? What the hell?!

He's kidding, right?

Emma: "You traded your ship for me? Why?"

Killian: "It felt like the right thing to do. Also, I missed you a lot. I knew that it was worth it, if it meant getting to see you one more time."

Wow.

So, he does really care about me. Why else would he trade his home for me?

I'm overwhelmed with happiness and also confusion. I can't really believe this. No one cares about me. That's just the way things have always been like. But now...Killian cared more about me than about his home.

And it's in that moment, that I realize, that he was right all along in Neverland. He did win my heart. Or maybe he always had it. I'm not sure because I was never willing to admit it to myself.

For example, our first kiss, I originally did it to prove a point to him, but then I realized, that it actually meant something to me. When I'm being honest, I was almost about to kiss him again, but then he said something and it brought me back to reality.

I told him, that it was a one-time thing, but I know, that we both knew, that it was never going to be that. It was always going to be an infinity-time thing.

So, I lean in and kiss him passionately. I'm sure I'm going to get scared again tomorrow and try to run, but right now that doesn't matter. It won't ever really matter because I know deep in my heart, that we're endgame. It's just a matter of time.


	29. Happy Birthday

I dedicate this to Emma since it’s her birthday today. Happy Birthday Emma Swan-Jones ❤️

 

**Emma’s POV**

I wake up and realize, that I’m not in Killian’s arms, so I roll around in our bed, but I can’t find him, so I open my eyes and I don’t see him, either. That’s weird. He wakes up very early each day, but normally he stays in bed and just holds me until I wake up. I can’t even remember the last time I woke up without him by my side because it’s been so long.

I look at the clock on my bedside table to check, if maybe I slept far too long, but that’s not the case. It’s only 7.30 and then it hits me. Today is the 23rd October aka my birthday. Killian is probably planning something like every year.

So, I get out of bed and walk downstairs to the kitchen. At the small table I see Killian and our 3-year old daughter Leia talking to each other, but it’s too hushed, so I don’t understand what they’re saying. As soon as I reach the kitchen they stop talking.

Killian: “Good morning, love. You’re up early.”

He comes to embrace me and kisses me softly.

Emma: “Good morning. What are you two doing here?”

I say as I walk over to Leia to embrace her and pick her up. She’s the sweetest little girl ever and me and Killian love her so much. I find it incredible, that Killian and I’s love and respect for each other created this little bean. That’s a really beautiful thing.

Killian: “Nothing. Just talking.”

I raise my eyebrow and smirk at him. With him I can tell even easier when he’s lying. It must be because we understand each other so well.

Emma: “Why were you whispering then?”

Leia: “Daddy was just telling me a story. You know how much I love his stories. He’s the best storyteller in the world.”

Killian: “Your brother might disagree.”

Emma: “You’re changing the subject.”

Killian: “No. Not at all, love.”

He comes to stand next to me and puts his arm around me and Leia.

Killian: “Dave called earlier and asked, if you could come into work as soon as you wake up. He’s got a case and needs your help, love.”

So, they’re trying to get me to leave the house. Interesting. I hope they’re not planning a surprise party. I hate those. That would make sense though because they act like they’ve forgotten my birthday. Or did they really forget?

As a child no one ever cared about my birthday, so it wouldn’t be too bad pretending it’s a day like any other. But for the past few years, I’ve always celebrated it with my family. So, it would quite hurt, if they forgot.

Killian takes Leia from my arms and tickles her shortly, which makes her laugh. Her laugh is very cute and it always warms my heart. If I could, I’d listen to it every second of every day even though I know how cheesy that sounds. I just am cheesy sometimes when it comes to Killian and Leia.

Or Henry for that matter. I miss him a lot because I haven’t seen him since Leia was born. Sometimes I believe, that something bad happened, because he never visits anymore. But every time I do that, my mom gives me some hope speech and tells me to leave him be. He’s all grown up after all and why would he be in danger when he’s with Regina and a version of Killian? I’m sure they’re protecting him with his life. I mean Killian always cared about him. Even before we were together, so there’s no one I’d trust more with my child than a version of him.

Just Killian himself would be a better option, but me and Leia need him here. We could go after them, but I think, that a peaceful Storybrooke is the best place for Leia to grow up. I don’t her to be in any danger.

Emma: “Okay. Then I’ll go to the station now. Will you come with me?”

Killian: “No. I’ll take Leia to Ashley first and then I’ll join you later. David didn’t mention, that he needs my help. I’ll even bring you some food from Granny’s and a coffee.”

Emma: “Thanks. I love you both.”

They say, that they love me too in unison and I smile brightly. They’re so alike and that makes me love them even more at times, if it’s possible to love them more than I already do.  
I stand on my tiptoes and softly kiss Killian. Then I give Leia quick kisses on both of her cheeks and her forehead, which makes my little pancake giggle and hide her face in the crook of Killian’s neck. I laugh before exiting my home and driving to the station with my yellow bug.

  
As soon as I enter the station my brother runs toward me and hugs me tightly. He’s as big and old as Henry was when I first met him, which makes me miss him even more. But I’d never blame my little brother for that. I love him a lot.

Emma: “Hi, Neal. How are you?”

I go on my knees because that way I can look him in the eyes while talking to him. He smiles brightly at me.

Neal: “Great. Happy Birthday.”

Emma: “Thank you.”

I hug him once again and tickle him while doing do, which makes him laugh out loudly. He’s very ticklish, which must run in the family.

Then my parents join us and hug us both. I’d never admit it to anyone, but I really love these family hugs. It’s exactly what I need right now.

My parents obviously don’t pretend, that it isn’t my birthday, so Killian and Leia probably did forget it. That realization hurts more than I thought it would.

Snowing: “Happy Birthday.”

David: “No actually I take that back. It’s not your birthday. Forget what I said.”

So, they were supposed to forget after all? I sigh and breath out in relieve. So, my little family didn’t forget.

That’s wonderful.

David: “That way you’re not growing up and you’re staying my little baby forever.”

Oh. So that’s the reason. Which means they weren’t supposed to forget. How could Killian forget my birthday? He never did before.

  
A few hours of paperwork pass, but I can’t concentrate and am only staring at the clock on the wall. What is taking Killian so long?

First, he forgets my birthday and now he’s avoiding me? I didn’t realize we were fighting. I hope we’re okay. I hope he’s okay.

  
It’s one o’clock and I’m about to leave the station when both Killian and our daughter enter the station with goofy grins on their faces. I don’t even realize, that they have a big package with them until they place it in front of me on my desk. On the package they lie an envelope with my name written on it in Killian’s fancy font.

Emma: “What’s this?”

Killian: “Open it and you’ll see.”

I raise my eyebrow and take a card out of the envelope. As I see it tears begin to form in my eyes. Leia drew herself, Killian, Henry and I on the cover of the card. She might not be the best artist due to her age, but this is so sweet. I open the card and am once again faced with my husband’s handwriting.

  
My dear Swan,

Leia and I wish you the happiest birthday in all the realms. We love you so much and couldn’t ever live without you.   
You deserve everything good and we intend to give that to you.  
You might be the town’s savior, but for us you being the Savior has a different meaning. You are our Savior and your happiness saves us every day because it brings us happiness.

Your husband Killian and our sweet daughter Leia.

  
I get up and hug them both tightly.

How could I ever doubt them?

They’d never forget my birthday.

Emma: “I love you.”

Leia: “We love you too, but you should really open the box.”

She seems quite excited, so I don’t waste any second. I pull open the lid of the box and am faced with a big cake. The frosting shows a similar image as the cake and ‘Happy Birthday Emma’ is written big the middle.

Killian: “Sorry it took us so long, but we wanted to surprise you with the cake, so we pretended to have forgotten your birthday, my love. Who knew it was so complicated to bake.”

Emma: “You did this on your own?”

Leia: “Yes. That’s why we told you about Grampa’s call. He didn’t actually call us.”

So that is what they were whispering about.

I hug both of them once again and Killian kisses my right cheek, while Leia kisses my left cheek.

Emma: “So, who wants some cake? It’s after all bad luck to not eat birthday cake.”

We eat the surprisingly delicious cake together, not worrying about the state our kitchen is probably in and laugh together. Later on, my parents and brother join us.

I couldn’t imagine a better birthday than spending it with my family. I just wish Henry was here too. 


	30. The Crib

 

 

Emma, Henry, Robin and Regina had been running through the forest of the Underworld for hours now, in an attempt to find Killian. After a while they realized, that splitting up would probably be a better approach to their problem. So, the boys were going to Regina’s office to get a map, while the girls kept searching in the woods. 

 

When Regina and Robin were saying goodbye, Emma didn’t stop and wait for Regina. She was determined to find her pirate and continued her search. During that time, she finally found a clue. Not the kind of clue she was hoping for though since she found blood on a plant – blood that she feared to be Killian’s. 

 

That thought scared her even though she already knew he was hurt. But until that moment she still had a flicker of hope inside her, that made her believe, that Hades might have tricked them and Killian was fine. She prayed for that to be right the whole time.

 

As soon as Regina found her, they followed the blood trail, but it didn't bring them to the pirate. It brought them to a young girl, who was shivering badly. She had been hiding behind a big stone, which probably meant danger was near. 

 

That won’t stop Emma though – not ever. She’s going to continue her search for Killian no matter what.

 

Megara: "Not Killian, but I know him."

 

Emma: "Where is he? Is he okay?"

 

Emma's voice was clouded by desperation and fear. She needed to be reunited with her boyfriend. Soon. 

 

The young girl couldn't answer her though since a monster was once again approaching them – a three headed one. That didn't really surprise Emma at all – not anymore. She's pretty much used to it, which doesn’t indicate, that she’s happy about it. 

 

Emma wasn't scared of monsters and neither was Regina, but this girl wasn't like them, so they were outnumbered. Megaera was obviously terrified, so Emma used her magic to transport them elsewhere. She might need the girl’s help to find Killian, so she can’t afford to lose her. 

 

Regina: "Your place? Really?"

 

Emma: "It was the first place I could think of. Stop complaining about how I saved your life. You could've used your magic too."

 

Regina: "I don't run from monsters, they run from me."

 

Emma rolled her eyes at the queen and turned to the other person in the room. 

 

Emma: "Who are you? Where is Killian?"

 

Megaera: "I'm Megaera, but my friends call me Meg. And I do know where Killian is. He told me to find you. But you really don't want to go to that place. Believe me. It's an underground prison and it's guarded by a three-headed beast – the one that was just about to attack us in the woods."

 

Emma: "I don't care what happens to me. I just need to find him. Can you find the place again and bring me there?"

 

Just as Meg was about to answer, Regina found the crib, which was standing in the middle of the living room. 

 

Regina: "What's this? “

 

Emma’s eyes fell on the small crib. _Damn,_ she thought, _why didn’t I think of that. I should’ve brought us to my parents’ place._

Emma: “It’s a crib.”

 

Regina glared at Emma and in that moment Charming and Snow came through the door – apparently, Snow’s key also works in the Underworld.

 

Snow: “Here you are. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

 

Charming: “Yeah, we did. So, what did we miss?”

 

Emma: “We’ve found Meg. She knows where Killian is, so we can finally save him.”

 

Regina: “You’re changing the subject. Why is there a crib in your living room?”

 

Both of Emma’s parents instantly turned around to the living room, their eyes widening as soon as they spotted the little crib. David actually looked like he might pass out any second, but he still managed to be furious.

 

Charming: “I’m going to kill that pirate as soon as we all get back from the Underworld.”

 

Snow: “David! You don’t even know why there’s a crib. Let Emma explain. So, sweetie, why exactly do you have a crib in your house?”

 

Emma opened and closed her mouth ten times in a row, not quite knowing what to say because she wasn’t ready to admit the truth, yet. Killian should be the first person to know about the baby, not her parents, a total stranger and someone, who ruined her childhood.

 

So, Emma decided to lie. It’s better that way. She obviously can’t tell her mother or the whole Underworld would know about her pregnancy in a matter of a second. Snow White might be a good thief, but she’s terrible at keeping secrets – you honestly shouldn’t tell that woman anything, that isn’t common knowledge.

 

Emma: “Well…I don’t really know. It’s probably meant to torment me in the afterlife, remind me of my miserable childhood and all that.”

 

Emma Swan is a terrible liar – despite being a human lie detector – but the little group actually believed her little story. To her parents it was quite convincing since it awakened feelings of guilt in them. They were too upset about Emma’s statement to think about whether it’s true or not.

 

Regina only cares about herself, so this version of the truth is enough for her. She’s probably currently obsessing over how much Emma’s terrible childhood is everyone’s fault, but her own. It wasn’t her, that casted the dark curse after all. It was Snow White by telling a secret, which is the accurate way of casting a dark curse.

 

And Megaera doesn’t know Emma at all, so she wouldn’t know whether Emma is lying or not nor would she probably care.

 

Emma: “It really doesn’t matter and mom, dad please stop feeling sorry for me. It’s okay. It was a long time ago, I’m over it. You didn’t have a choice. Can we now move on with more pressing issues like finding Killian?”

 

 

The did continue their search and were able to locate Killian with Magaera’s help. The saved him and returned back home.

 

Emma lead Killian through the door of their home in Storybrooke as soon as they arrived in the small town. The others were going to Granny’s, but the pair said, that they’re very tired and needed to rest. Actually, they just wanted some alone time though.

 

Emma sat her pirate down on the couch and healed his wounds with her magic as soon as they got home.

 

Killian: “Thanks, love. It didn’t even sting.”

 

Emma smiled brightly at her boyfriend – overwhelmed with the happiness of having him back in her life – and leaned in, softly pressing her lips to his.

 

Killian: “And thanks for coming to the Underworld to save me. You needn’t have done so. It’s far too dangerous.”

 

Emma: “We’re all fine and you’re back, so it was all worth it. I couldn’t live without you, so believe me, my motives were truly selfish.”

 

Killian: “Well, thanks anyway. I love you.”

 

Emma: “I love you, too.”

 

She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. She’s never going to let him go ever again. They were endgame and everything was perfect. Emma would’ve stayed in his arms forever, but he pulled away after a few seconds – but only enough to look at her.

 

Killian: “So, I didn’t see much when we walked in since the wounds Hades and his beast gave me still hurt as hell, but why exactly is there a crib in our living room?”

 

Emma shortly turned her face to the crib and then she looked back into Killian’s incredible blue eyes, smiling with her whole face.

 

Emma: “I was really bored when I was the Dark Swan, so I built this.”

 

He smirked at her, knowing that she was currently teasing him. They do love to tease each other.

 

Now Emma was aware, that he figured out what she was about to tell him.

 

Killian: “So, why did you build it? It’s kind of a random piece of furniture.”

 

Emma: “Well, it’s practical.”

 

He raised his eyebrow, which he does a lot, while he’s smirking and the whole thing made Emma chuckle. She was enjoying this a lot.

 

Killian: “Why? You plan on sleeping in that tiny thing? Not that I’m complaining, then I’ll have the whole bed for myself and no one will steal the covers from me.”

 

Emma playfully glares at him.

 

Emma: “I won’t sleep in it. Our baby will. I’m pregnant.”

 

They both knew it by then, but their faces still lit up like a bunch of Christmas trees. They instantly kissed passionately and tears of joy were streaming down their faces.

 

The rest of the night, they celebrated with lots of pancakes.  


	31. Two Pink Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was requested by @dmarie

David: "I'm going home now. There isn't much to do today and we don't leave much later on busy days, so bye Emma, bye Killian."

The happily married couple tells him goodbye, too, and Emma smiles. Her father finally started calling Killian by his actual name instead of Hook a few weeks ago and it still makes her very happy whenever she hears it. She now knows one hundred percent, that he accepts Killian as a part of their family. That means more to Emma, than she'd admit out loud.

David: "You should go, too. I don't think that anyone will have a problem the rest of the day and if they do, they have our phone numbers."

David leaves the station with one last goodbye wave and Emma turns to Killian. They smile at each other lovingly and put their arms around each other in a loose hug, while Killian smoothly runs his hand through Emma's hair.

Killian: "Dave is right. We should head home."

Emma nods and Killian places a soft kiss on her forehead.

Killian: "I'll just quickly go to the docks to check on the Jolly."

Emma knows, that this was probably an invitation for her to join him, but she's been meaning to find a little alone time anyway, so having to finish paper work is the perfect excuse to get just that.

Emma: "Okay. I'll just finish the paper work and lock the station up. We'll see each other at home?"

A flash of sadness is visible on Killian's face for a split second, but he nods anyway. He'd never disagree with Emma – it's not smart to do so. She's extremely stubborn, so there's no changing her mind as soon as she made up her mind about something. Also, all he wants is her happiness and if being alone makes her happy right now, he'll give her some space.

Killian: "Okay. See you at home."

He leans down and kisses his wife goodbye, before leaving the station and heading towards the docks, where his ship is.

Emma watches him walk away and as soon as he's of sight, she throws the unfinished paperwork into the drawer of her desk and locks up the station, then she drives home quickly. She feels bad about lying to him, but it's better this way, so in her opinion she doesn't have another choice.

 

As soon as she gets home, she runs upstairs into the bathroom, attached to her and Killian's room. She sits on the toilet and makes three pregnancy tests magically appear in her hand. She could've bought them at Sneezy's store, which is also the only shop in town next to Mr. Gold's, but then it would only be a matter of time until the whole town knew, so that was out of the question.

She wants to tell everyone in her own time and not have the dwarfs spill her secret.

Emma pees on each of the three sticks and sets the timer on her phone to three minutes. Then she waits and the time seems to be stopping. This is exactly the opposite to when she had Henry. Those three minutes passed far too quickly since she wasn't ready for the truth.

But this time everything has changed. This time Emma is actually looking forward to the truth and she hoped with all her heart, that she is indeed pregnant.

Killian and her have been trying for a while now, but every time they took a test, it came back negative. That's also the reason Emma had to do this alone today. She doesn't want Killian to know of her suspicion since the test could once again be negative and she doesn't want him to be disappointed.

He never directly said, that he's sad about the negative tests, but Emma could see it all over his face since it always was the same expression in his eyes, that she probably had in hers. Sadness and despair.

The timer goes off and suddenly Emma is afraid to look at the results since she isn't ready for the tests to be negative again. Just as she's contemplating throwing away the test and taking another one another day, she hears the front door open and Killian calls her name.

Killian: "Emma? Are you home?"

Emma then decides to face her fears thanks to the bravery she got just by Killian being in the same house and she looks down at the tests. And finally all three of them are positive, so there's no doubt she's pregnant.

She smiles brightly and puts one of the tests into the pocket of her jeans. She instantly runs down the stairs and into Killian's arms, kissing him with a lot of passion.

Killian: "Someone seems quite happy to see me. What happened in the last thirty minutes we were apart to make you so happy? The last time you greeted me like this was the time you found your engagement ring, so what happened?"

Emma smiles with all her face at him and hugs him tightly once more.

Emma: "I'm pregnant."

She pulls out the test and gives it to him. He instantly smiles just as bright as his wife and there are happy tears in his eyes.

Killian: "I'm going to be a father?"

Emma: "No, you're going to be the best father."

Killian chuckles while shaking his head, before crushing his lips on Emma's and holding her close to him and lifting her up.

Killian: "I love you so much."

He kisses her once more before setting her back down and going down on his knees to kiss Emma's belly.

Killian: "Both of you."

Emma: "We love you, too."


	32. Sweet Dreams

Requested by @/dmarie on AO3

 

Emma and Killian were sitting near the stables in Storybrooke, watching Ashley and her family, while enjoying a small, peaceful dinner together.

Killian: “She surely was brave. Ashley.”

Emma: “Putting love before life?”

Killian: “Exactly.”

It was in that moment, that Emma realized Archie was right all along. Just because she’s soon going to die, doesn’t mean, that she’s already dead, so she shouldn’t stop living her life. More like the opposite: Emma should live her life to fullest now more than ever. Life shouldn’t be about fear, but about facing those fears and destroying them.

So, the Savior knew, that she should just stop being afraid and take the next step with Killian. They’ve both waited long enough to move in together. No vision or anything should stop them from that and their happiness.

Emma put her hand in Killian’s hair and stroked it softly, while staring at his face and gathering the courage to ask him to move in with her. She’s never been good with big gestures, so she’s more nervous than she should probably be since there’s actually nothing to be afraid of. She already knows, that Killian will say yes – he chose the house for them after all.

That thought motivated Emma to break down her walls and just ask him right away.

Emma: “Move in with me.”

Killian froze for a second, obviously being shocked by her direct and sudden approach to that topic. It’s unlike Emma to just blurt something out without being indirectly asked about doing something like this.

Killian: “What?”

Emma: “Move in with me.”

She smiled at him and recalled the conversation she had with Archie earlier, suddenly knowing exactly what to say to Killian.

Emma: “I know everything in life is uncertain, but sometimes you have to walk out the door and hope there’s not a bus.”

Killian chuckled, not getting this reference, but Emma’s face actually became more serious since she once again thought about her visions. She doesn’t want to die – not yet, not when she’s finally happy.

Emma: “I mean…I have a closet full of red jackets, I feel like I can make some space for some black leather.”

Killian: “Oh, well, when you put it like that, then I would love to move in with you.”

They beamed at each other and connected their lips in a sweet, but meaningful kiss. They didn’t even care about their company and were lost inside their own world. Once their lips disconnected, their foreheads touched and both of them were smiling brightly. Killian ran his thumb up and down her cheek, while slowly opening his eyes to admire his Swan.

Emma opened her eyes too and gave Killian one last peck on the lips before standing up.

Killian: “What are you doing, Swan?”

Emma: “Let’s go home.”

They both smiled at the word home because they realized, that that’s what that blue house with a white picket fence is. Emma has lived in there for a while now, but it’s never felt like home before. She always just referred to it as ‘my house.’

Killian got up from his chair, too, and together they walked towards Ashley’s family’s table hand in hand.

Emma: “This was a very nice dinner, but I’m afraid we must leave now. We promised my parents earlier, that we’d stop by and we don’t want to go there too late since it would only wake my brother and then he’d be all fussy. But you still have a nice dinner.”

Ashley: “Okay. Thanks for help, by the way. I’ll see you guys soon.”

CS: “Goodbye.”

Emma and Killian turned around and walked away from the stables.

Killian: “I didn’t know we had a date with your parents.”

Emma: “We don’t. It was just a good excuse to leave.”

They continued walking for a while, chatting with each other about basically anything, until they arrived at an intersection, where Emma wanted to turn left and Killian wanted to turn right.

Killian: “Swan, your house is that way.”

Emma: “Our house is indeed that way, but I thought we could stop by your ship, so that you can get some stuff, that you need.”

Killian: “Oh. Okay. Do you mean, that you already want me to move in like today?”

Emma: “Yes. We’ve waited long enough for whatever unknown reason.”

They kissed long and passionately in the middle of the road and continued their walk to the Jolly Rodger after that.

Emma: “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

Killian: “Nothing. Just like that because I love you and I felt like it.”

Emma: “I love you too.”

 

…

 

Emma and Killian arrive back at their home with a small bag filled with some of Killian’s belonging. The rest he’s going to get tomorrow – not that there is much left. In that aspect Emma and Killian are very much alike. They both are not very sentimental.

Emma: “So, what about a small tour of the house?”

Killian: “Sounds great, Swan. Lead the way.”

She takes his hook since he’s carrying the small bag in his hand and pulls him to the middle of the living room/kitchen.

Emma: “So this is the living room and the kitchen as you already know since you’ve been here dozens of times. And there is also a door, that leads to the garage and there’s the basements and that’s pretty much all of this floor. So, let’s move on to the second floor.”

She pulled him up the stairs with her and walked up to the first door.

Emma: “So this is just a storage room – nothing exciting.”

They walked over to the next room, which was Henry’s, but he was currently staying over at Regina’s, so he’s not here.

Emma: “This is Henry’s room.”

They walked to the next door, not wanting to disturb Henry’s privacy by being in his room without him.

Emma: “This is the guest room and the door there leads to a small bathroom, which can also be accessed by a door in Henry’s room.”

Killian stood in the doorway for a moment, until deciding to put his bag on the bed since this was probably going to be his room from now on, until Emma and him would one day get married, which in Killian’s opinion could happen soon. He’s aware though, that Emma probably isn’t ready to take that step in their relationship yet. But there was no doubt in his mind, that they are endgame, so it really doesn’t matter to him whether they are married or not since nothing can break them apart. There was no need for that to be clear to everyone else. All that mattered was that Emma and Killian knew and they did.

Emma: “What are you doing?”

She eyed him curiously and tried to do his eyebrow thing.

Killian: “Putting my bag in my room.”

Emma chuckled and searched his face for a sign, that he was joking. But there was none, so clearly, he was deadly serious about this.

Emma: “Where is Killian and what have you done with him?”

Killian: “I didn’t want to assume, that we’re going to share a room and was taking the gentlemanly approach.”

Emma: “Since when are you a gentleman?”

Killian: “I’m always a gentleman, Swan, and technically it’s considered bad form back in the Enchanted Forest to live together in the same room with someone you’re not related or married to.”

Emma: “Well, then stop being a gentleman and caring about bad form. I want my pirate back!”

He smiled and smirked at her, while picking up his bag again. He approached his Swan and kissed her hungrily.

Killian: “Better?”

Emma: “Much better.”

She took his hook back into her hand and pulled him up another staircase. The third floor only had two rooms: a bathroom and their room, whose windows were facing the ocean.

 

After the house tour Emma and Killian ordered themselves Chinese food and decided to watch a movie on Netflix. Emma smirked, when she typed ‘Peter Pan’ into the search bar and laughed throughout the whole movie because Killian was criticizing it a lot. He considers it very inaccurate and the thing that bothers him the most is the look of Captain Hook. He despises him and thinks, that he’s much more handsome than this false version of him.

Near the end of the movie both Emma and Killian fell asleep in each other’s arms with Emma’s laptop still on their bed.

During the night they both snuggled closer and closer together, sleeping better than they ever did with sweet dreams of their future together.


	33. After All These Years

If you want to listen to the song, this is based on, here's a link: https://youtu.be/nzfQEGsFr4g  
 

 

_And I, yeah, I never prepared for a moment like that_   
_Yeah, suddenly, it all came back, it all came back_   
_'Cause after all these years_   
_I still feel everything when you are near_   
_And it was just a quick "Hello," and you had to go_   
_And you probably will never know_   
_You're still the one I'm after all these years_   
_(Oh yeah)_

_\- All These Years by Camila Cabello_

 

**Emma’s POV**

I’m visiting my adoptive parents this weekend, so I’m back in Storybrooke and I have to say, that not much has changed around here. It is still the small town with the same people, that I left almost 10 years ago.

I actually haven’t set foot in this town in that amount of time either since my parents and Ruby always visited me in New York. Storybrooke is the complete opposite of New York, which I’ve gotten used to consider my home.

The town is so small, that everyone instantly noticed I was back, so here I am at a secret ‘Welcome back’ party at Granny’s, which my best friend Ruby organized for me. I hate party’s in my honor – especially surprise party’s – but Ruby seemed so excited about it and me telling her I hate this, would only break her heart.

Ruby has been my best friend since we were in kindergarten, so hurting her is the last thing, I’d ever want to do. Also, her girlfriend Mulan is kind of scary and I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side since I think she knows how to use a sword.

So here I am, pretending to love the party and interacting with all the people I haven’t seen in ages. Everything goes normal, until I hear a voice, I haven’t expected to hear today. I was aware of the fact, that he still lived in this town, but I never thought, he’d show up at the party.

And apparently, he isn’t here for the party though since he’s standing at the counter, ordering two coffees and takeout food – enough takeout food for two people, which feels like someone’s stabbing me in the chest.

Sure, I never expected him to stay single forever, but it still hurts to know he’s moved on from me, moved on from us. At least he seems happy – happy with whoever she is.

And that’s the moment the jealousy sets in and I start hating this woman even though I don’t even know her or I do, but don’t know she’s with Killian.

Not many people move to Storybrooke, so it’s likely that I do know her. She might be an old friend of mine, which hurts even more than thinking of her as a total stranger. I just hope, she’s new here since with anyone else, it would feel like a betrayal.

Everyone in Storybrooke knew about Killian and I. We were high school sweethearts and totally and completely in love with each other – hell I still love him, if I’m being one hundred percent honest. But when things were getting serious by the end of school, I ran away. He proposed to me and I got scared due to my trust issues caused by my tragic childhood, so I went to college and didn’t tell him where I went.

Honestly, I’m surprised, that neither Ruby nor my parents ever told him about my location. I did ask them not to tell him, but deep down I always hoped they would since all I wanted was Killian and that never changed. I was just too stubborn to comeback or text him. I needed him to make the first step like many times during our relationship.

I was too scared to make the first step since he could possibly hate me for leaving him. It’s my fault our relationship ended after all.

There hasn’t been a day since I last saw him, that I don’t regret leaving him though. I miss him and I wish I would have known that day how much leaving him would affect me. But I was so scared, that I wasn’t thinking clearly.

Ruby: “Emma?”

I get dragged away from my thoughts by Ruby’s worried voice and it’s just in that moment, that I realize I’m crying slowly. I wipe the tears away and take a deep breath before turning to Ruby.

Emma: “What is it?”

Ruby: “Nothing. You spaced out and I got worried.”

Emma: “Sorry. I just…I didn’t think, he’d be here.”

Ruby: “I promise, that I didn’t invite him, Emma. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Oh, so Ruby still believes, that it’s his fault I left. I never told her about what happened because I was scared and thought, that if she knew, she’d never let me go, so I rather let her believe he hurt me, which is quite cruel of me, but the only way I could think of back then.

Emma: “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Ruby: “You sure? Because I can kick him out.”

Emma: “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Ruby smiled at me one last time before going back to Mulan and kissing her.

I turn around in Killian’s direction again and his eyes meet mine. We are both tense, but still approach each other.

Killian: “Hi.”

Emma: “Hi.”

I take in his appearance and realize just how much his looks have changed. He’s even hotter than I remembered and that causes my knees to feel very weak, so I have to grab the counter in order to keep standing and not make a complete fool out of myself by crashing to the floor.

Killian’s hair is a little longer now than it was ten years ago and he also grew a short beard, which is something I usually don’t like in men, but he can work anything, I think.

Also in the last ten years Killian seems to have worked out quite a bit since his arms seem a little stronger. It’s probably from all the sailing he does with his ship. He already did that a lot back when we were dating. He’d take me out into the middle of the sea and there we’d watch the ocean, hear its waves crashing against the ship, while we had a picnic.

His eyes are the one thing, that hasn’t really changed. They’re still this incredible blue color and I still get lost in them every time I look into them.

They do seem less sad though and his smile is a little softer.

I remember him being very sad constantly, when we were together since he lost his brother a short time after we met and they moved to Storybrooke. His brother was the only family he ever had, that he can remember, so losing him totally teared him apart. But I guess all wounds can heal, if given the proper time to heal. Sure, they never completely go away, but the pain gets a little easier to deal with and allows you to move on.

Granny: “Killian, your order’s finished.”

He smiles at me and takes his bag of food and the coffees before leaving the diner and me far behind to go back home to her.

And once again I wonder what she’s like. I wonder if she kisses him like I kissed him. I wonder if she loves him like I love him.

And I realize while I look out of the window and see as Killian’s figure fades from view, that we left each other once again without a goodbye, without an explanation. This time he did the leaving, but everything else is the same. I still didn’t tell him why I left and I didn’t tell him that I love him still after all these years.


	34. Want You Back

_“Can't help but wondering if this_   
_Is the last time that I'll see your face_   
_Is it tears or just the fucking rain?_   
_Wish I could say something_   
_Something that doesn't sound insane_   
_But lately I don't trust my brain_   
_You tell me I won't ever change_   
_So I just say nothing_   
  
_No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back_   
_No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back_   
_I know you know I will never get over you_   
_No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back_   
_Want you back”_

_\- Want You Back by 5 Seconds of Summer_

## Killian‘s POV

 

 

 

_You come to me, Hook, and you lean on me and you trust me! We have to stop hiding things from each other. The man I fell in love with would know that. He would know that we would do things together. That is what I agreed to marry. That is what I thought that we were together. Until you're ready for that then we can talk._

Those words were the last ones Emma said to me before she placed my mother’s ring back in my hand, stomped up the stairs and slammed our bedroom door shut.

 

I remained in our living room, frozen and completely heartbroken at the sound of her sobs, coming from upstairs. I’d like nothing more right now than running to her and holding her tightly in my arms until all her troubles are chased away. But I know, that she doesn’t want to see me right now. She made that very clear just a moment ago.

 

So, I approach the door and open it. I stare at the stairs for almost an eternity, wanting so bad to sprint them up and make everything right between me and my Swan, before turning around and leaving our house.

 

In front of our house I look up at the window of our bedroom, but I can’t see Emma from here. I wish I could though since I don’t know whether this could be the last time that I see her angelic face.

 

…

 

After a short walk I’m standing on the Jolly Rodger. On my way here, I saw Nemo and asked him whether I could join them on their journey. They plan to leave tomorrow, so I need to think this through now.

 

It would probably be a great thing for me to go away on the Nautilus, but I don’t really know if I should do it. I don’t want to leave Storybrooke and abandon my Emma. She’s been through abandonment too often already and I don’t want to hurt her like that.

 

I also fear, that if I went away, she’d never forgive me for what I did. She might need a little space right now, but she’ll be ready to talk about me trying to burn my own memories eventually. I just need to give her a little bit of time to cool off and get over the pain I caused her by lying to her.

 

I’ll definitely give her that time since no matter what happens, I’ll always want her back.

 

Before I met Emma Swan, I was a lost pirate, who only cared about his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin for killing his first love. I was empty and had no hope left for a happy life.

 

All that changed when I met her. She’s the light to my darkness and I don’t think I could ever stop loving her nor stop wanting to be with her, even if I tried.

 

So, all in all I definitely don’t want to leave her alone here and risk her thinking, that I abandoned her. But I should probably go anyway.

 

Emma was right. I never should’ve lied to her. She deserves far better than that. Somehow, I changed back into my old villainous self by the reminder of something I did back then. I have to become a hero again, someone, who’s worthy of Emma’s love.

 

I won’t leave without a goodbye though. I know she doesn’t want to see me right now, but I’ll stop by our house anyway. I refuse to let her think I’d ever abandon her.

 

…

 

I enter mine and Emma’s house, that I’ve come to think of as home. In the past I never believed, that anything other than my ship, the Jolly Rodger, could ever be considered home for me, but that’s not the case anymore. My home is wherever Emma is, so this place, that we share, feels like home.

 

As I walk up the stairs I don’t hear any sobs, so Emma obviously calmed down. That’s good because she’d probably kick me out right away, if she was still crying. She doesn’t like to show people her vulnerability. Usually I’m an exception, but I doubt that would be the case today since she’s mad at me for lying to her.

 

I’m standing in front of our bedroom door and hesitate. Should I go inside on my own or knock first? I decide on knocking on the door, but when no sound comes from inside I enter the room anyway.

 

Emma is lying on our bed and she’s sleeping soundly, hugging one of my shirts tightly to her nose and chest. I approach her silently and sit down next to her on the bed, running my hand softly through her hair. She stirs and opens her reddened, swollen eyes slowly. She’s obviously cried a lot before falling asleep.

 

I hate to see her like this, knowing I caused this kind of pain.

 

Emma: “Killian? What are you doing here?”

 

Even though her voice is clouded with sleepiness, I can still hear her anger at me through it.

 

Killian: “We need to talk.”

 

She sits up and gives me a sign to start talking. I take her hand, but she stares down at our intertwined hands and pulls hers away again after a moment. So, she hasn’t forgiven me yet and doesn’t want to do it either.

 

Killian: “I’m sorry, that I’ve lied to you, Emma. I should’ve come to you, instead of trying to burn my own memories. I know you would’ve understood.”

 

Emma: “If you knew that, then why did you decide to lie to me?”

 

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at me.

 

Killian: “This wasn’t about you, Emma. I’m not proud of what I did, and I just wanted the guilt to go away. It killed me to know, that I didn’t just destroy my own family, but that I destroyed yours, too. I love you more than anything, but now I know even more than before, that I don’t deserve you. I thought, that if I could forget what I did, that I might at least feel like I’m good enough for you. But I’m obviously not, so I decided, that I need to become a better person. I’ll leave with my brother tomorrow and I promise I won’t come back before I’m worthy of you again. I’ll fix this.”

 

She smiles sadly at me, tears forming in her eyes. This time she’s the one who reaches out for my hand and hook and holds them tightly.

 

Emma: “So you’ve come to say goodbye?”

 

Killian: “Yes. I didn’t want to go without letting you know, where I was going. I’d never abandon you, Swan.”

 

A single tear slips out of her eye and she suddenly throws both her arms around me. It only takes me a moment to return the gesture.

 

Emma: “Thank you.”

 

Killian: “I know, that I’m not in any position to ask anything of you, but will you wait for me?”

 

Emma: “Of course. I might be mad at you right now, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you. And no matter how long you’re gone, I’m always gonna want you back.”

 

This time I pull her close to me, breathing her in since I have no idea when I’ll get to hold her in my arms again. I already know, that just like during the missing year, I’ll think of my Swan every day and I’ll miss her just as much as I love her.

 

Killian: “So I guess, this is goodbye?”

 

Emma: “If that’s what you want.”

 

I give her a questioning look. She must be aware of the fact, that I don’t particularly enjoy leaving.

 

Emma: “No one’s forcing you to go nor am I forcing you to stay. You don’t need to leave though, if that’s not what you want.”

 

Killian: “I told you, that I need to go in order to earn your forgiveness.”

 

Emma: “But you don’t need to leave for that. I already forgive you because I somehow can’t manage to stay mad at you for a long time. I love you too much to even pretend to hate you.”

 

She does forgive me?

 

Then I guess the decision has been made. I’m going to stay with my Swan and make all of this up to her in different ways.

 

I take her hand once again and pull her to me by it, connecting our lips in a passionate kiss.

 

Killian: “Then I’ll stay.”

 

Emma: “You really want this? If you want to go, that’s okay, you know. I’m not trying to sabotage you into staying.”

 

Killian: “You’re not sabotaging me into doing anything. I love you and I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”

 

She smiles and reaches for the pocket of my jacket. A second later she pulls the engagement ring out of it and puts it back on her finger.

 

Killian: “You sure you’re ready for that after everything that’s happened?”

 

Emma: “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”

 

We kiss again and celebrate our engagement for the rest of the day.


	35. Visions

Things were going well between Killian and Emma ever since Zeus send Killian back to life – back to the place where he belonged: Emma Swan’s loving arms. But Storybrooke was still Storybrooke and trouble was preassigned. So, it didn’t take long for the next villain to arrive – to be exact it only took a few hours.

Once everyone came back from New York, there was a big dinner for everyone at Granny’s to celebrate that they once again got rid of a villain and lived to tell the story. But Emma and Killian never attended that event. It’s not like they were missing out on something since there were ‘town meetings’ at Granny’s literally every second day. Emma’s parents always found a reason to celebrate. It drove Emma insane on more than a few occasions how her parents could be so infuriatingly optimistic even though they lived in a town, that seems to be every villains favourite location.

Usually Killian and Emma wouldn’t ditch one of these meetings since someone would notice and then Mary Margaret would probably interrogate them later, which neither of them was fond of. But today they didn’t care about the consequences. Emma told Killian “I love you” for the first time without any reason like impending death. She hasn’t done this before – always too scared that it would somehow change everything between herself and her pirate for the worse. That was until she realized, that there’s no reason to be scared.

His recent death has proven to her, that she could never live without him and that’s because she’s in love with him. Now that they’ve been given a second chance by the king of gods himself, there’s no way Emma will ever let anything come between them again. And with that realization those three little, dangerous words didn’t seem quite so frightening anymore. So Emma said them aloud to her favourite pirate in all the realms. His whole face lit up, when he heard her say them and he pulled her close to him, lifted her off the ground and kissed her as if his life depended on it. When they pulled away from each other, he muttered the same words against her lips and they smiled brightly at each other.

Then Emma turned around and opened the door to her bug for Killian.

Emma: “Get in. There’s no way we’re attending that dinner at Granny’s. Let’s go home.”

Home. Their house, in which they don’t live together yet – not officially anyway. But both of them knew, that it was only a matter of time, so they already referred to the white-picket fence house as _their_ home. It did have a nice ring to it after all. They’ve been spending more nights together than they’ve spent apart since the six weeks of peace anyway, so them living together is almost a thing anyway.

So, they went home to get some alone time, but they soon realized, that that wasn’t a possibility in Storybrooke. When the couple was making out on their couch like two teenagers, there was suddenly an earthquake. At first Emma wanted to ignore it, but both of them knew, that that wasn’t an option. If there was danger, the town needed its Savior since no one else is capable of defeating the newest villain. To be honest no one would even try since the whole town always expects Emma to fix all of their problems. Emma was sick of it, but she’d never say that out loud because everyone in this town means a lot to her. They’re her first real family – even during the time of the first curse, when Henry first brought Emma to town.

So, Emma and Killian end up leaving the house and seeing a big air ship flying over Storybrooke. It seems to intend landing in the fairytale town. Not a second later Emma gets a call from Regina about the thing, which is apparently called a dirigible.

Regina: “Emma, there’s a dirigible flying over the town. I think it means bad news. There’s probably a new villain. We’re following it now and so should you.”

Emma: “Yeah, I noticed the flying thing. I’m not blind, nor am I unaware of the earthquake, which just happened, you know. Do you think you can fix this problem on your own? I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Regina: “Of course I can. I’m more powerful than anyone else, but I don’t have my dark magic anymore, so who knows? I wouldn’t want to darken my heart again, would I? Yours is already darkened because you were the Dark One, so you better do this.”

Emma sighs in clear annoyance. She was looking forward to a nice day with her true love, but apparently that’s not in cards for the Savior. Once again Regina is just a big failure, who only cares about herself.

Emma: “I’m on my way.”

Emma hangs up the phone and then Killian and her get back in Emma’s bug and follow the dirigible. So much for a peaceful day after defeating Hyde.

…

The dirigible is an air ship filled with people from the land of untold stories, who were later hiding in the woods. Apparently, Gold gave the town to Hyde in order to get Belle back, so once again there is a villain in town and everyone expects Emma to find a way to defeat the newbie.

So, when Emma and Killian get back home they go straight to bed because the day was once again exhausting as hell. Emma falls asleep almost immediately in Killian’s arms, while her head rests on his chest.

Killian noticed, that she was acting weird ever since they explored the dirigible. He saw her hand shaking then and her face turned into a terrified mess. She acts like everything is fine, but Killian knows her well enough to know, that that isn’t true. His Swan is somehow scared about something and he is determined to find out what it is in order to protect her. She might not need his help, but he’ll give it to her anyway because she’s what he loves most.

…

Not long after they both fell asleep, Killian wakes up again. He has to keep from jumping out of the bed. He just had the worst dream ever – or nightmare to be more precise. There was a dark hooded figure, which was in a sword fight with Emma. And the villain won. Killian couldn’t move, and neither could Emma’s parents or Henry as they all watched Emma die right in front of them. The weird thing about all of this was, that it felt so real to Killian. It was almost like Killian could feel Henry against his body as the young boy sobbed into his chest because of having to watch his mother die.

A moment later a disorientated Emma woke up to the rapid beating of her boyfriend’s chest. She instantly looked at him, both her hands finding his cheeks.

Emma: “Killian, what’s wrong?”

Killian: “Don’t worry about it, Swan. It’s just a stupid dream.”

Emma: “You want to talk about it?”

He did, but he also didn’t want Emma to worry. She might think, that this dream is some sort of message and Killian doesn’t even want to think about that being a possibility. After everything they’ve been through these past few months – darkness, Hades,… - they deserved some peace and a future together. They can’t lose each other once again.

Emma: “Hey. You are acting strange. Is everything alright?”

He didn’t plan on telling her, but as her worried eyes met his, he couldn’t stop talking. She’s the only person, he never wants to lie to because it just hurts too much.

So, he ended up telling her the truth, regretting it as soon as the words left his mouth since with each sentence Emma tensed more and more.

Killian: “Hey, don’t worry about all of this. It’s just a stupid dream, it’s not like it’ll happen.”

In that moment Killian wasn’t sure whether he tried to convince Emma or himself of this. All he knows is, that it didn’t work. Not on either of them.

Emma: “I don’t think it was just a dream, Killian. I think it means something because I had the same sort of vision today, while we were exploring the dirigible. And I keep seeing my death by this hooded figure every time my hand shakes. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Killian: “You won’t. I won’t let that happen. I know where Belle keeps the spare key to the library, so tomorrow I’ll go there and look, if there is anything on a black hooded figure. We’ll find a way to defeat the villain. We always do, Swan. I won’t let you die. Now go back to sleep, love, you need the rest and also you promised in the Underworld, that you would sleep for weeks as soon as we defeated Hades.”

She chuckles, but even that sounds exhausted by now. She really does not get enough sleep lately – not by far. She lies her head back down on Killian’s chest and he gives her a goodnight kiss on the forehead, before they both fall back into a sound sleep without any nightmares, but instead dreams of their future – a happy future together, in which they live in this house as a married couple with their baby daughter.


End file.
